DEAR ABBY: I’m 58 and 5 years into my second marriage.
We lived collectively a little bit over a yr earlier than getting married. At that time, I had spent seven years as a caregiver for my mother and father.
We moved to Kentucky from Florida as a result of his mother wanted us shut, however for the reason that transfer, he has turn out to be somebody I hardly know.
We lastly obtained his extreme melancholy below management, however he has turn out to be petty and vindictive. He’s form of a bully. He watches nothing however conspiracy concept movies on YouTube. I don’t know what to do. He wasn’t that method after we dated.
I have to rebuild my credit score after the previous few years and get monetary savings. I’m placing most of my paycheck right into a separate account, and I used to be planning on leaving in a few years, but it surely has gotten a little bit higher since he’s on the suitable meds.
Nonetheless, it’s actually onerous to maneuver previous these previous few horrible years. He expects me to maintain his mother, who deserted him as a toddler. I don’t need to. I actually dislike her.
Am I flawed to nonetheless be considering of leaving?
— STUCK NOWHERE
DEAR STUCK: Your husband could have married you so he’d have somebody to maintain his mom. You paid your dues for seven years with your personal mother and father.
Remind your husband that you simply moved to Kentucky so he, not you, might maintain his mother, and you’ll not permit him to foist her off on you.
Maintain salting your cash away, and when you could have sufficient to make a brand new begin, determine then whether or not you need to transfer on.
DEAR ABBY: I’m a 20-something homosexual male who was seeing a man in his 50s who lives a pair hours away.
For nearly two months, we spoke practically daily and noticed one another as time allowed. I believed we had nice chemistry, and I held him in excessive regard. (He even launched me to your column.)
Out of nowhere, he’s saying he feels solely friendship for me and that we aren’t in the identical place emotionally. It’s a complete intestine punch.
I really feel like I did or stated one thing flawed, however I don’t know what it’s, so I’m blaming myself. I replay all our conversations and dates in my head, trying to find the place I went flawed.
How do I break this cycle? And the way can I permit myself to belief different males — particularly older males — once I really feel so burned by my interplay with Mr. Fifties?
— TWENTY-SOMETHING IN TENNESSEE
DEAR TWENTY-SOMETHING: Please cease being so onerous on your self. One thing absolutely occurred. Perhaps the chemistry between the 2 of you wasn’t as sturdy as you thought it was. It’s additionally potential that he met somebody and didn’t have the braveness to be sincere about it.
No matter his purpose, you don’t have any selection however to just accept that the 2 of you weren’t in the identical place emotionally. It’s time to maneuver on with out assuming that every one older males are the identical.
Pricey Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, often known as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Pricey Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
