DEAR ABBY: I’ve a full-time job and am in fairly good well being. I’ve one son, “Brian,” who’s married and has three kids.
I used to be a single mother who raised my son alone. I assumed I used to be a reasonably good mom. My downside is that he’s typically impolite to me.
His spouse is tremendous delicate to any remark I make and finds fault with virtually something I do. They spend lots of time together with her household and exclude me.
If I make a remark about Brian’s spouse, he will get mad and calls me hateful or impolite. I’ve been good to each of them, serving to in any manner I can, but they don’t take that into consideration. Brian and I get into arguments over this.
Generally I’ve gone overboard and informed him he wants to determine what his downside is with me. He by no means tells me why he behaves like this. They don’t go to me or deliver the youngsters over. They are saying they’re busy, however they at all times discover time to go to her household, their cousins, and many others.
Should I hand over on having any sort of relationship with them? I like my son and want to be part of his life, however I don’t assume I ought to settle for him being crucial of me on a regular basis it doesn’t matter what I do.
If I attempt to speak objectively along with his spouse, she says I’m attempting to begin one thing. Please assist.
— HEARTBROKEN IN GEORGIA
DEAR HEARTBROKEN: I’ll strive. Assume management of your life and give up on the lookout for crumbs out of your son and his spouse! Doing in any other case has introduced you solely ache and disappointment.
Acknowledge that nevertheless you raised your son, you probably did one of the best you might underneath tough circumstances.
Your daughter-in-law appears to have taken management of your son, and he has allowed it. Sadly, it’s common. Whenever you see or speak to them, change nothing however pleasantries.
Focus your energies in your friendships and different points of your life. This may increasingly prevent from extra grief and be extra rewarding than persevering with to hit your head towards a brick wall.
DEAR ABBY: I’m a 14-year-old lady. There are some imply women at college. Once I speak to them, they are saying imply issues. I don’t have a very good comeback, so I simply stand there doing nothing.
I would like some good suggestions. I hold telling adults, however the women hold doing it. How can I make them cease for good, and do you have got some comebacks I can use?
— SPEECHLESS IN IDAHO
DEAR SPEECHLESS: There isn’t any technique to power a bully to cease. This ugly habits is who these women are.
I don’t suggest attempting to beat them at their very own merciless recreation by competing on their stage, as a result of in case you do, they are going to win. As an alternative of approaching them and giving them the chance to say imply issues to you, contemplate attempting to make mates with different women — women who would possibly prefer to be mates with you too.
Pricey Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Pricey Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
