DEAR MISS MANNERS: What precisely are the foundations for saving seats at a casual occasion the place seats usually are not assigned?
Once I was invited to my nephew’s martial arts presentation, I arrived half an hour early to avoid wasting seats for my household of 5 (three of us have been current) as a result of the others have been coming from work and couldn’t arrive early.
A lady got here and sat in one of many saved seats, though my jacket was on the seat, and I politely informed her that it was reserved.
There was no admission price for the occasion, and there have been loads of different seats obtainable, though admittedly my saved seats had a greater view, which is why I arrived early.
The lady refused to maneuver and passive-aggressively had her teenage sons come and sit subsequent to her and mainly half-sit on my lap.
I ended up transferring as a result of I used to be uncomfortable and needed to stand within the again and miss the motion and alternative to take photographs. It really ruined my evening. Was I mistaken to imagine I might save the seats?
GENTLE READER: It’s when entire entrance rows are saved on the center college play that Miss Manners declares rudeness.
Her made-up however reasonable-sounding rule is that this: No multiple seat saved per individual already seated. So your scenario certified.
However simply free of charge, she will provide you with one other tip: Save seats in between the three of you, as an alternative of on the finish (i.e., individual, empty seat, individual, empty seat, individual). Others can be much less more likely to wish to climb in between and sit subsequent to strangers.Then, when the remainder of your get together will get there, transfer over.
It helps if copious quantities of luggage and coats are piled up on the empty seats — and makes it extra convincing that those that are absent are simply within the lavatory.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I used to be in a espresso store with my partner when a few neighbors entered. They approached us and stated hiya.
I’d have appreciated for them to have joined us as a result of we sometimes cat-sit for one another, and I wish to stay on good phrases with them. Additionally, I used to be feeling social. However I didn’t know find out how to phrase the invitation.
“Would you like to join us?” appears to depart them no great way out if they don’t occur to really feel like socializing.
Does Miss Manners have any suggestion relating to find out how to proceed in such circumstances?
GENTLE READER: “We would love to have you join us” has a refined distinction to it. Since it’s a assertion and never a query, your neighbors have choices, together with answering with out answering.
They might 1. settle for, 2. say, “Thank you, but we have a pressing matter to discuss, and we don’t want to bore you” or, much less desirably, 3. say “Thank you,” go get their espresso and simply by no means return.
Miss Manners hopes on your sake that in the event that they select the third, it’s not additionally how they method sitting your cat.
