DEAR ABBY: A couple of years in the past, my daughter went “no contact” with either side of our household — mother and father, grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins.
Since then, I’ve been scuffling with how I ought to reply acquaintances who ask, “How is she doing?” in addition to those that ask, “Do you have children?”
I’ve been advised by family and friends that I ought to inform the acquaintances that I don’t know why as a result of she doesn’t converse to the household. Nonetheless, I’ve discovered this response results in extra uncomfortable questions. I’m embarrassed to have to inform folks “Yes, but she does not speak to us” — and worse, attempt to reply “Why?”
Recently, I’ve been telling folks, “No, we don’t have children” so I received’t have to clarify.
Are you able to advise me how I can reply these questions with out explanations, embarrassment or lies?
— FORMER PARENT IN WASHINGTON
DEAR FORMER PARENT: As a matter of reality, I can. Inform the questioner, “I have one daughter. We are estranged, and I don’t wish to discuss it further.” Interval. It’s the reality.
DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I’ve had a tumultuous relationship. Proper now, it’s good, however the challenge I’m having is that his mattress is tremendous uncomfortable and so is his sofa.
He spent some huge cash for each of them, however I’m unable to sleep or get snug on his sofa.
How do I inform him he wants to interchange them or else I don’t need to spend the night time with him or watch films on the sofa at his home?
— UNCOMFORTABLE IN TEXAS
DEAR UNCOMFORTABLE: Begin by telling your boyfriend that you may’t get a superb night time’s sleep in his mattress as a result of the mattress is uncomfortable for you. Do the identical factor after watching TV on his sofa.
In case your again wants extra help, he shouldn’t regard it a private insult.
Then invite him to your home so he received’t really feel rejected.
DEAR ABBY: As I strategy my a centesimal birthday, I want you’d educate folks {that a} present certificates for a meal from a restaurant or a donation to feed the hungry can be much more appreciated than bouquets of pricy flowers that wilt and die.
It might even be a considerate present to my caretaker, who prepares my meals and will use a break.
Decisions for seniors turn out to be fewer as we age, and good meals are one of many easy pleasures left. Thanks.
— CENTENARIAN IN GEORGIA
DEAR CENTENARIAN: Warmest congratulations as you close to your milestone birthday. Your suggestion {that a} restaurant present certificates is much extra sensible than receiving flowers (or an mechanically renewing journal subscription) is an effective one. I hope readers will recognize the spirit wherein it was supplied.
I particularly like the truth that you’d use it to spare your caregiver the stress of making ready not less than certainly one of your meals.
Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also called Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
