OPINION:
Barack Obama is Risen!
The Chosen One has returned to the political flesh and emerged from his kingdom on Martha’s Vineyard to help Democrats in this election. Apparently, the immigration crisis there has become unbearable, even for the Father of Hope & Change.
He returns not as the washed-up, angry race-hustler that he became during his two terms as president, but as the charming smooth-talker he played back in 2008 to get himself elected America’s first Black president (after Bill Clinton, of course).
In a podcast recording, Mr. Obama excoriated his Democratic Party for being boring, scolding dullards who are always eager to form a lynch mob to cancel enemies who say one wrong thing.
The timing of Mr. Obama’s condemnation of cancel culture is interesting, coming just days after Kanye West got canceled again for vowing to go “death con three” on “JEWISH PEOPLE.” Is Mr. Obama just sticking up for Ye? And doesn’t Mr. Obama know that the real Jesus was a Jew?
Everyone talks about how much Mr. Obama is a celebrity and is adored by celebrities. But it’s also important to remember how much Mr. Obama thirsts to be around celebrities like Jay Z and Beyonce and Oprah. Maybe he is just trying to lure Yeezy away from the orange aura of Donald Trump.
In his “podcast,” Fake Jesus condemned his party for failing to serve actual voters.
“My family, my kids, work that gives me satisfaction, having fun,” Mr. Obama listed all the ways Democrats fail to reach voters.
“Hell, not being a buzzkill,” he said. “And sometimes Democrats are. Sometimes people just want to not feel as if they are walking on eggshells and they want some acknowledgment that life is messy and that all of us, at any given moment, can say things the wrong way, make mistakes.”
Really, it’s not you. Whenever Mr. Obama talks these days he sounds high.
He made his comments in an “interview” with a podcast called “Pod Save America” hosted by four former White House staffers who worked on his campaigns and in his administration. “Pod Save America” is what a bunch of privileged white boys call their podcast if they have been washed in the blood of the Obama administration.
This retro 2008 Obama is a welcome — and astonishing — departure from the Barack Obama who served eight years as president.
During those years, all of America walked on eggshells and lived in terror of being canceled — and worse — if they ran afoul of Mr. Obama’s new racialized orthodoxy. Everything became about race in the Obama era.
A Harvard professor gets stopped by police for appearing to break into a house, and the president of the United States declared it a racial situation and accused the cop of acting “stupidly.”
In Florida, a young Black man was stopped by a neighborhood watchman and ultimately shot to death after a scuffle. The president of the United States only saw race and racism. “If I had a son, he’d look like Trayvon,” Mr. Obama declared.
At times, it seemed like there was no situation Mr. Obama would not wade into. He saw everything through the prism of race and racism. America became deeply splintered, largely along racial lines.
By the time Mr. Obama was halfway through his second term, race riots were unfolding in Democratic-led cities across the country, police were under assault in places like Ferguson, Missouri, and Baltimore, and Black Lives Matter was born.
Mr. Obama had unprecedented political credibility to rescue millions of Americans who descended from slavery 150 years ago but more recently have suffered decades of misery and missed opportunity under one-party Democratic rule in America’s largest cities. We are talking generational misery inflicted with the false promises and fake hope from the lying hucksters in Mr. Obama’s Democratic Party.
Mr. Obama alone could have reaped justice and prosperity for millions. But what did he do with that unprecedented opportunity?
He weaseled out and fell under the spell of celebrity and the power of partisan politics. He used his precious time and unmatched gifts to peddle more false hope, missed opportunity and incalculable misery.
In the end, Mr. Obama was weak. He sold them out.
Now, he is back. And now he just wants to be cool again. You know, man, don’t be such a “buzzkill.”
Pass me a bud and let’s get the Choom Gang back together again. Bruh.
• Charles Hurt is the opinion editor at The Washington Times.