DEAR ABBY: I used to be with the identical individual (my first “everything” man) for 23 years.
A number of years after the shock of a divorce, I met somebody 10 years my junior. He makes me really feel I’m essentially the most stunning girl on the earth, complimenting on what my ex thought-about my faults, exhibiting I’m nonetheless an attractive, fascinating girl and making me really feel like I matter on this world.
The issue is, regardless of him saying he may reside with out having youngsters (I’m nearly 50), I concern it might be one thing he’ll remorse or resent me for down the street if we keep collectively.
His pals hold attempting to repair him up with youthful ladies “because he’d be a good dad,” and it breaks my coronary heart to assume this may be what tears us aside once we haven’t but put a label on what we’re collectively.
I don’t need to maintain him again from a life he might have pictured, but it terrifies me that I’d need to see him with another person.
He stays pals together with his exes, so I can think about him anticipating me to nonetheless be a part of his life even when not romantically. I’m undecided my coronary heart may deal with that.
Recommendation?
— WISTFUL IN WASHINGTON
DEAR WISTFUL: You might be overdue for a dialog with this man through which you inform him it’s worthwhile to understand how necessary having kids is to him.
Clarify that his pals attempting to repair him up with youthful ladies “because he’d make a great dad” is unnerving, and you do not need to face in his manner if he desires to be one.
While you’re at it, inform him that standing apart and watching him construct a life with another person can be heartbreaking for you, and he shouldn’t count on that it’s going to occur. It’s the reality. He wants to listen to it, and also you want his reply.
DEAR ABBY: My mother-in-law is a really beneficiant woman. When she visits, twice a 12 months, she pays for practically every little thing so far as meals and requirements for our household.
She’s a foodie, which implies when she’s right here, we eat at any restaurant she hasn’t tried. She’ll order practically each appetizer on the menu and encourage every of us to order one thing completely different so we will all pattern quite a lot of entrees. The dessert menu isn’t any exception.
I’ve dietary points and have solely just lately discovered which meals don’t make me uncomfortable. I can now not tolerate dairy, fatty meals, and so on. The menu gadgets at most eating places include these issues.
After I politely refuse sure appetizers or sides with my entrees, she turns into upset. I perceive, as she does pay for every little thing.
How can I get round not compromising my well being along with her generosity?
— PERPLEXED IN COLORADO
DEAR PERPLEXED: The dialog you need to have together with your mother-in-law ought to happen privately, and never if you are at a restaurant ordering meals. You might must have it greater than as soon as, and prematurely of her go to.
If vital, clarify, intimately, how extreme your digestive points are. Then, once you and the household dine out, inform the server who’s taking your order precisely what you want.
Pricey Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also called Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Pricey Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
