Pricey Abby: I’ve a gaggle of fantastic ladies mates I’ve identified for many years. We get collectively month-to-month for dinner and drinks at an area restaurant. The placement is usually left as much as whoever has a birthday that month, and normally varies amongst three decisions.
Often, I bow out in the event that they select a restaurant that caters to an area creep. This man, “Bob,” has by no means been charged with an offense, however I used to be one in all his victims 20 years in the past, weeks after my first husband’s loss of life. Bob broke into my house and stole gadgets from my husband’s workplace. I used to be there on the time, and he got here into my bed room whereas I used to be dressing. I screamed at him, and he responded that I hadn’t heard him knocking on the door and “he wanted to make sure I was all right.”
I’ve no ties to Bob, however my mates do. All of them are conscious of his actions and status. So is the proprietor of his nightly hangout, however Bob is a jolly bar man and buys drinks, so everybody (besides me) is OK with it. I get PTSD on the considered attending one in all our dinners when this specific institution is chosen, so I normally skip these nights.
A number of of the ladies in my pal’s group have advised me I would like to simply “get over it,” however I can’t. Any recommendation on the way to deal with this?
— Sufferer in Wisconsin
Pricey Sufferer,
I’m sorry for what occurred that day. Though Bob didn’t contact you, the phobia was actual. I do have a few options relating to the way to deal with this. The primary is to proceed refusing to attend birthday celebrations which may expose you to the person who broke into your property. (Did you file a police report?) Additionally, assume twice about how “wonderful” a girl pal is who would select that restaurant for her celebration. In case your PTSD continues, take into account consulting a licensed psychological well being skilled who focuses on it.
Pricey Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, often known as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Pricey Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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