DEAR ABBY: A couple of years in the past, we have been invited to my cousin’s eldest daughter’s marriage ceremony. Though my cousin and I are shut, I barely know the daughter. We have been invited solely as a result of my cousin wished me there.
The marriage was out of city, which necessitated a motel keep, meals and fuel, along with a beneficiant money present. The money present was what the couple had requested, since they’d been residing collectively and didn’t want home items.
Our examine was cashed two days after the marriage, however we by no means received a thank-you.
Three months later, I bumped into the bride’s mom and requested how the comfortable couple was doing. I additionally talked about that we by no means acquired an acknowledgment of our present. She responded that her daughter had been busy and “apparently she didn’t have the time” to ship thank-yous.
Two years later, the identical state of affairs unfolded when daughter No. 2 received married, and the mom supplied the identical precise excuse for her daughter’s poor manners.
We’ve now acquired a “save the date” card for daughter No. 3.
I’m curious — what would you do?
— UNTHANKED IN INDIANA
DEAR UNTHANKED: If I felt near the daughter, I might attend the marriage. I might give her a present, recognizing that it most likely wouldn’t be acknowledged as a result of the ladies have been by no means taught the social graces. However I wouldn’t preemptively penalize daughter No. 3 for the sin of omission dedicated by her sisters.
DEAR ABBY: My first marriage lasted 31 years. He was a pleasant man however a awful husband. He died after a protracted sickness.
A 12 months later, I began relationship, met one other man and fell in love. We dated for a 12 months earlier than he proposed marriage.
Two months earlier than the marriage, I known as it off as a result of he lacked communication expertise and was fairly egocentric. His remark was, “We talk at the dinner table. What more do you want?” The subsequent day, I advised him it was over.
Once I tried to return the engagement ring and a few jewellery to him, he advised me to maintain it.
He nonetheless texts me about how a lot he misses me, however he does nothing to repair this. I’ve requested him to go away me alone and cease contacting me.
I’m making an attempt to maneuver on, however each time I hear from him, it’s painful. I miss him. How can I let go of the hope that he’ll in the future change?
— UNENGAGED IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR UNENGAGED: You and this man could have loved one another, however you don’t appear to talk the identical language. It’s time you accepted that he isn’t going to vary.
For those who can’t settle for him and his flaws, assuage the ache of listening to from him by blocking his texts whilst you search for a greater communicator.
Pricey Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Pricey Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
