DEAR ABBY: I’m a single dad or mum, and my youngsters’ grandfather (my father-in-law) has supplied to look at them at his home as soon as per week.
I’d like to take him up on it as a result of it might assist me sustain with all of my duties. However I hesitate as a result of he wasn’t an concerned father, so he has no parenting expertise.
For instance, he struggles with battle administration between the children (and his personal mood). He has no sense; I don’t belief he is aware of what or when to feed the children. Additionally, his home is a whole mess — he by no means throws something away.
My youngsters get pleasure from spending time with him, and we don’t have a lot household, so I’d wish to foster their relationships.
How do I maximize the great and reduce the unhealthy of their visits? How do I help him doing one of the best by my youngsters with out me being overbearing?
— MOM WITH HELP
DEAR MOM: A number of the points you elevate could be resolved by merely speaking to your father-in-law and telling him the way you resolve conflicts between the children, what you need them fed and when.
A messy home is completely different from one that might have a destructive impression upon their well being. How unhealthy is it? Does the place pose a hazard to your youngsters? Is it potential that he may babysit at your home somewhat than his?
Relating to his mood, nevertheless, are you completely certain he gained’t abuse your youngsters if he loses it? If the reply to that query isn’t any, then babysitting can’t be allowed.
DEAR ABBY: I’ve been seeing a hairstylist for a decade. Over the last couple of years, I don’t really feel I’ve gotten the service I deserve.
I’m going in for a trim about each two months (typically longer to save cash). She is extraordinarily busy and typically delegates “green” hairstylists to scrub and blow-dry my hair.
I recognize that she provides new hairstylists an opportunity to get expertise, however final time two completely different folks labored on my hair along with her, and it took an hour and a half for a easy trim. On prime of that, she charged me an additional $10, plus I wish to tip everybody correctly (just a little one thing for the associates, with 20% going to her).
Typically, she’s just a little late for appointments. And the final time I requested for a unique coiffure, she gave pushback as a result of “I wouldn’t take care of it.”
I’m prepared to maneuver on to somebody new and a brand new coiffure.
What’s the correct solution to break up along with your hairstylist? I wish to do it in particular person, but it surely could possibly be awkward, and she or he may get offended. Ought to I give an additional tip?
— HAIRY SITUATION IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR HAIRY SITUATION: You aren’t this stylist’s pal; you might be her consumer. You may have each proper to vary stylists, and also you shouldn’t really feel responsible for doing so.
In case you really feel you should give her a motive, inform her the reality on the cellphone or in particular person.
You’re inside your rights to make a change if you want. It shouldn’t create ailing emotions, and also you don’t have to provide her a farewell tip.
[The hairstylist breakup is, apparently, a common problem.]
Pricey Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Pricey Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
