DEAR ABBY: I used to be with my alcoholic ex for 17 years, married for 12. I knew my marriage was over a yr in the past, so I used to be making ready myself.
I filed for divorce 9 months in the past. The choose signed my papers six weeks in the past.
4 months in the past, I met “Aaron,” a person I’ve grown to essentially like. He feels the identical, however my sisters really feel I shouldn’t be occupied with a relationship.
My youngsters are grown and out of the home. They’ve met Aaron and say, “Whatever makes you happy,” however I’m afraid if my sisters discover out I’m seeing somebody, they’re going to be adverse.
I really need them to understand how blissful I’m, however I’m undecided if I ought to say something simply but. Please assist.
— FREE, NOT FREE, IN IOWA
DEAR FREE, NOT FREE: You’ve gotten solely lately emerged from a protracted and tough marriage, which has to have been disturbing and miserable. Proper now you’re on an emotional excessive. Your sisters are providing you with good recommendation. Decelerate!
If what you and Aaron have collectively is nearly as good as you assume, preserve seeing him and get to know one another higher. Cease hiding him out of your sisters and introduce him. However whenever you do, inform them you aren’t leaping from the frying pan into the hearth and plan to spend time attending to know him earlier than making any everlasting selections. You’ve gotten earned that proper.
DEAR ABBY: I’m courting an older man with two ex-wives. I’ve met each of them. I don’t thoughts them.
The final ex-wife and I get alongside. She often calls me as a result of he received’t reply his telephone for her.
The primary ex-wife I don’t like in any respect (I used to speak to her) as a result of she’s lied to me about him. This lady has her youngsters name and inform him to name her (which he sneaks round to do), amongst different issues. She talks smack about two of her youngsters with him (supposedly his), and he or she cheated on him quite a few instances.
Anytime we see her, which is often at one of many youngsters’ homes, he or she runs to present the opposite a hug. I believe that is very improper and I’ve twice stated one thing to him.
Am I improper? Am I jealous? He says they don’t wish to be with one another, they’re simply buddies, however I don’t belief her. I really feel like she’s attempting to start out hassle. (To not point out, one of many youngsters remarked, “If Mom wanted him back, she could get him.”)
I respect your opinion. Please assist me.
— AM I RIGHT OR WRONG?
DEAR RIGHT OR WRONG: Many divorced {couples} attempt to preserve issues amicable for the sake of their kids. Your twice-married boyfriend could also be one in every of them.
When you belief what he says, his first ex-wife isn’t prone to wreck your relationship until your insecurity permits it. When you can not belief this man’s phrase, you need to now not be collectively.
What the child stated hasn’t helped the state of affairs. Please don’t let it trigger hassle in your relationship with their father.
TO THOSE WHO CELEBRATE ROSH HASHANA: At sunset tonight, the Jewish New 12 months begins. Throughout this time of solemn introspection, I want my Jewish readers “L’shana tova tikatevu” — could you be inscribed within the Ebook of Life and have an excellent yr.
Pricey Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, often known as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Pricey Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
