DEAR ABBY: My spouse places up with me, and I like her for it. I’ve my challenges.
I used to be concerned in a head-on automotive crash 15 years in the past and have suffered quite a few long-term accidents from it. I can do most of what I would like bodily, however not all the things. I’ve taken drugs for residual mind points from the crash and might grow to be indignant with out a lot warning.
I’ve had each household and particular person remedy. I train, meditate (however not almost as usually as I ought to), take drugs to maintain me steady and have reminders in numerous locations about what I ought to do and never do.
I purchase my spouse flowers fairly recurrently and keep playful usually. I additionally take excellent care of our special-needs son.
What different issues would you counsel I do to assist her know I like her?
— LUCKY GUY IN FLORIDA
DEAR LUCKY GUY: Your spouse in all probability already is aware of. However should you apologize once you fly off the deal with, present affection, and inform her every single day how a lot you’re keen on her and the way blessed you’re feeling to have her in your life, it should convey the message you need to ship.
DEAR ABBY: I lately reconnected with a colleague from work. We have been pleasant, however probably not what I might name pals.
We reconnected on social media and have had lunch just a few occasions.
The issue is, she has grow to be a really destructive, aggressive, indignant individual. She spends our time bashing household, former colleagues and nearly each service skilled she has encountered. She refuses to cease speaking about politics although I’ve made it clear I’m not snug with it.
The primary lunch was unhealthy, however I believed I’d give it one other shot. The second lunch was worse, and I made a decision I wouldn’t attain out or make plans once more. Then she stated she didn’t have quite a lot of pals, and that made me really feel inclined to attempt to befriend her.
Two or three lunches later, I simply can’t preserve doing it. I’m attempting to rid myself of destructive influences, a few of whom are members of the family, and I don’t must proceed spending time with this particular person.
If she reaches out once more, ought to I preserve making excuses till she will get the trace, or ought to I be sincere?
I’m considerably afraid of her as a result of, seeing the best way she bashes individuals, I do know she would bash me to different individuals we all know, and I may do with out that.
— MISTAKEN IN NORTH CAROLINA
DEAR MISTAKEN: There isn’t any purpose to be disagreeable to this troubled girl.
Begin being busy when she contacts you. If she traps you by saying one thing like, “If your schedule is too full this month, how about next month?” make a date along with her.
If she begins bashing others, cease her. Smile and say, “Let’s talk about something else. Something pleasant.”
Then proceed being much less out there for longer stretches of time. Once you grow to be more durable to succeed in usually sufficient, she’ll ultimately lose curiosity.
Pricey Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also called Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Pricey Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
