DEAR MISS MANNERS: A younger couple moved in subsequent door. Once they get mail addressed to the previous occupant, they don’t contact her, although she lives in the identical small city (and runs a retailer right here).
One current package deal contained some advertising supplies she had ordered from me, which I mistakenly despatched to her previous tackle. After we found out the issue, I texted my new neighbor, and he then left the package deal on my porch. However he had had it for 3 weeks with out doing something about it.
When these neighbors are on their deck and my husband goes into his vegetable backyard close by, they instantly go inside.
What’s improper with these folks?
GENTLE READER: Possibly they’re on their honeymoon. Possibly they’re on the lam. Who is aware of? However they don’t have to socialize with you.
In any case, they don’t wish to be good neighbors, which is their privilege — up to some extent. Retaining another person’s mail was past that time. Miss Manners hopes that the submit workplace might be extra responsive when your former neighbor requests her mail forwarded.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: Over the past two years, I’ve been making incremental adjustments to guide a extra eco-friendly life-style. Is it impolite to provide eco-friendly or reusable merchandise to household and associates?
For instance, my sister began a brand new job and I want to give her a set of reusable utensils to eat her lunch with, somewhat than counting on her employer’s disposable plastic utensils. Is that OK? And for acquaintances, would goodie baggage of, say, bamboo toothbrushes with powdered tooth cleaning soap be thought-about “too personal”?
I wish to give items that align with my values with out intruding on anybody’s freedom to decide on no matter merchandise go well with their life. How do I toe that line?
GENTLE READER: That is a wonderful distinction to think about. Miss Manners has one other: Are you contemplating presents that you simply imagine the recipients will respect and luxuriate in, or is your motive to prod them into making adjustments they haven’t any explicit need to make?
Presumably, these near you recognize about your curiosity in attaining a extra eco-friendly life-style. You appear tactful sufficient to have shared your beliefs with out resorting to the favored — and usually ineffective — strategy of shaming others. You’ll have been alert to any curiosity, prepared to supply encouragement and recommendation.
However to provide presents meant to fulfill you, with out regard to pleasing them, violates the spirit of giving. Certainly you could find gadgets that respect your goals however don’t bludgeon others into utilizing — or losing — them.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: How frequent is it to handle married girls as “Mrs. John Doe” within the U.S., in 2024?
GENTLE READER: Not very. However Miss Manners reminds you that wives and widows preferring to retain that long-traditional type shouldn’t be jarred into altering for the sake of consistency.
