DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I spent a couple of days with some pals at a home in a rural setting close to a small lake.
Throughout our keep, the electrical energy went out. The bogs didn’t work for over 24 hours, and we had to make use of buckets for the waste we generated.
After the bogs have been working, our host disposed of our collected waste within the lake. Doing so was in opposition to the legislation within the state we have been in. It was additionally an ecological crime as a result of even an infinitesimal quantity of feces will pollute a lake.
We stated nothing on the time.
When a bunch commits each against the law and causes an ecological catastrophe, what’s a visitor purported to do? Ought to we’ve got stopped our host? Ought to we’ve got stated one thing?
GENTLE READER: It’s not an unreasonable expectation that the proprietor of a home be acquainted with the legal guidelines and idiosyncrasies of its state. Deferring to your hosts and their experience is certainly logical and well mannered.
But when you already know {that a} crime is being dedicated, talking up is crucial. As a result of even Miss Manners will admit that etiquette is just not above the legislation. In case your buddy will get caught and you might be named as an adjunct, “I was just being polite” will most likely not serve to exonerate you.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: What’s the correct etiquette for disembarking a aircraft when the aisles are full and somebody’s bag is a number of rows behind them?
I used to be getting off a flight when a pair within the row in entrance of me tried to get different passengers to retrieve the couple’s giant baggage from the overhead compartments, 4 rows again, and cross them as much as them. When that didn’t occur, the person pushed again via these of us standing within the aisle.
Once I instructed he wait a minute or two and we’d be cleared out of his approach, he very loudly informed me that I didn’t know disembarking etiquette and that everybody behind him ought to have waited for him to get his bag.
It might be useful to have your enter for our collective journey within the crowded skies.
GENTLE READER: Public chastisement within the identify of etiquette is Miss Manners’ least favourite type of free promoting.
This particular person’s technique was not even logical, as a result of different passengers may hardly be anticipated to know the place his bag was and at what level to cease passing it.
Had he been extra courteous, others may need taken pity on him and requested if they might assist. Because it was, he made a difficult scenario worse — and turned his fellow vacationers from potential allies to adversaries.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I refused to attend the marriage of one of many lecturers at my spouse’s dance studio as a result of the invitation included their checking account information, asking for “cash gifts only.”
The marriage was at a distant location, with the closest resort 45 minutes away, in the course of the forest with no illumination down some unpaved roads.
My spouse attended and gave a money reward.
Was I fallacious?
GENTLE READER: Sure. However solely since you deserted your spouse in the course of a forest.