DEAR MISS MANNERS: My partner and I are mates with a pair, certainly one of whom is in a band.
This band placed on a present at a restaurant, and we went to point out help.
We arrived previous to the beginning of the present, round 7:30, and loved the music, applauding loudly and singing alongside to the songs we knew. Nonetheless, because it obtained later and later, round 11:30, we grew to become fatigued and actually wished to make our exit.
Since we had no thought how for much longer the present would go, I advised my husband we must always head out when the present tune ended.
On the finish of the tune, we stood up, stated goodbye to our good friend’s spouse and waved to our good friend on stage. The band then introduced that this is able to be their final tune, however we had been exhausted and felt we had already dedicated to our exit, so we went forward and left.
Within the gentle of the subsequent day, I felt responsible and questioned if we had made a social blunder by not sticking it out for the final tune. Our mates haven’t talked about this; I actually don’t know if we’re shut sufficient that they might say one thing in the event that they had been upset.
Was this objectively impolite? Ought to I attain out to our mates and ask them in the event that they had been damage or offended?
GENTLE READER: Why are you in search of bother? There was no manner you possibly can have identified that the band was nearing their final tune — and affordable mates would understand that.
After 4 hours, you place in your time. Eleven-thirty p.m. is sort of late sufficient.
Nonetheless, if you’re lifeless set on chastising your self, Miss Manners will assist you to ship a brief be aware saying that you just loved the live performance and had been sorry to have to depart earlier than its finish. It’s possible you’ll add that you just sit up for listening to the final tune subsequent time. However “… provided that it happens before midnight” ought to solely be implied.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is there a well mannered technique to keep away from shaking palms with strangers?
I used to be in a automotive dealership, and each worker I encountered prolonged a hand to me, anticipating me to shake it.
I do know that they had been simply attempting to look pleasant and open. However I additionally know that this can be a good technique to transmit ailments and pathogenic microorganisms.
Many individuals wouldn’t have good hand-washing practices, particularly after utilizing the restroom, and it grosses me out to have to the touch their palms.
An infectious-disease specialist has even said that the apply of shaking palms needs to be deserted.
GENTLE READER: Miss Manners typically agrees with you, however worries that the social illness of being unwilling to take part in formalities can also be harmful.
When you can gracefully finesse one other gesture — waving, or, in much less formal conditions, a fist bump — Miss Manners will permit it.
Including “I’m healthy, but don’t want you to risk it” will maybe take away a few of the sting. If all else fails, carrying hand sanitizer with you and discreetly making use of it after handshakes could also be a short-term answer.
