DEAR MISS MANNERS: Our daughter is getting married in about six months, in a vacation spot marriage ceremony about 90 minutes from our metropolis.
My husband and I advised her that we’d assist out financially, and have contributed a major quantity up to now.
She and her fiance must cowl among the prices, as effectively. The groom’s dad and mom usually are not contributing something towards the reception.
My daughter doesn’t share the identical etiquette as I do on sure issues. She balked at our wanting to ask seven associates, however then I discovered that she invited about 40 extra company than initially deliberate. She is going to give all of her company a plus-one, however was reluctant to do the identical for her one aunt.
In our space, marriage ceremony receptions embody an open bar, however she advised me that they may have an open bar just for three hours, and that within the reception’s final hour, company must pay for drinks.
We provided to pay for the extra hour, as we really feel like it is best to present on your company, particularly in case you are asking individuals to journey out of city on your marriage ceremony (and presumably anticipate them to pay for lodging for the night time).
She gained’t hear of it. Their logic for not having an open bar for the complete night is that the groom has one pal who would possibly drink an excessive amount of. (Simply don’t invite him?)
We’re feeling a variety of frustration, as she doesn’t settle for any recommendations from us and feels that she is aware of every part.
One other relative did this to her dad and mom: insisted that she knew every part, after which ran out of wine proper after dinner. Our daughter has advised us that she gained’t repeat that habits, however she is exhibiting all of the indicators of doing simply that.
Am I out of contact, or out of line, in wanting to supply an open bar for the company? I see it as a courtesy, and if we’re prepared to choose up the extra $7 an individual, it’s price it.
GENTLE READER: Simply because somebody is paying for a marriage doesn’t imply that their selections ought to dominate, Miss Manners has typically stated. However simply because they’re the dad and mom does.
Your daughter’s rejection of your generosity is baffling. And her logic that the drunk pal will drink much less for the one hour that he has to pay for it’s much more so.
In case your daughter is really involved concerning the well-being of this gentleman, then supply to shut the bar and shut down the occasion solely after three hours.
Confronted with the prospect of ending the festivities early, Miss Manners feels pretty sure she is going to come round.
