DEAR MISS MANNERS: I do know you’re going to suppose this can be a made-up letter, however I guarantee you it’s not. (However then, I’d say that even when it had been, wouldn’t I?)
When one has been invited to remain in a single day in a house with out indoor plumbing, however is supplied with a chamber pot (no lid) below the mattress, what does one do with it the following morning? Depart it? Ask one’s hostess? What if you happen to don’t communicate her language?
This occurred to my husband and me a couple of years again, after we had been tenting in Europe.
The individuals who owned the land had been horrified to consider our sleeping outdoors within the chilly. With hand gestures, they made it clear that they might be insulted if we didn’t settle for their hospitality for the evening. Not desirous to be ugly People, we did.
They generously gave us their very own bed room, which included the aforesaid chamber pot. Necessity compelled us to make use of it. However the subsequent morning …
We wound up leaving it within the room, and I nonetheless surprise: What was the right factor to have carried out?
GENTLE READER: If you’ll be able to decipher “Stay in our bedroom or you’re an ugly American” from a hand gesture, Miss Manners feels sure you may determine one for, “There is poop in the potty; what do we do with it?”
As a result of little question your hosts got here up with their very own hand gesture after they found your disagreeable shock.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’m one among a bunch of associates who’ve recognized one another for 30+ years, from early center age into what at the moment are our “golden years.”
We’ve been by way of lots collectively, supported one another by way of particular person struggles, and been there for the great occasions, too.
We’re all now widowed, however nonetheless get collectively often to take pleasure in performs, operas, dinners out and to have fun every others’ birthdays. These are events for us, not simply “let’s meet for lunch,” and we costume for the events.
At these occasions, I make it some extent to supply a honest praise to my associates — something from how effectively they’re trying, to a changing into alternative of garments or a lovely coiffure — understanding the effort and time it takes to place ourselves collectively. However nobody ever appears to reciprocate, and this bothers me.
None of us has a husband now to inform us we’re trying fairly or stunning. And I feel it’s essential that we maintain one another up, acknowledge every others’ efforts, let one another know we’ve nonetheless “got it.”
Am I only a petty narcissist? Fishing for compliments? If not, how do I tactfully strategy my associates on this topic?
GENTLE READER: “Don’t we all look nice?”
