DEAR MISS MANNERS: My brother and I purchased a house collectively some years in the past (I’ve by no means married, and he’s divorced).
Christmas playing cards, invites and whatnot meant for each of us usually come addressed to “John and Jim Doe.” This appears to point that we’re a pair. Wouldn’t it’s extra applicable to handle the envelope with “John Doe and Jim Doe”?
I’m not a prude, and we each get a chuckle out of the obvious fake pas, however am I proper about how a letter must be addressed?
GENTLE READER: Far be it from Miss Manners to discourage a chuckle, however pairing the names of siblings on the identical tackle, with out the least considered there being every other relationship, is conventional. Solely it will have been, correctly, “The Messrs. John and Jim Doe.”
DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I attend his dad and mom’ Christmas Eve celebration yearly. It begins round 4 p.m., and we often head house round 9 p.m.
They put out deli meats, rolls and a small bowl of nuts. Folks at all times convey various things so as to add to the meal. I often make a pasta dish or meatballs. Yearly, no matter we convey is devoured!
This yr, my father-in-law talked about that they at all times have a lot meals left over, and that they don’t need folks to convey something.
I’m torn between bringing meals anyway, because it’s at all times eaten, or following their needs and being hungry for the night.
GENTLE READER: Your father-in-law’s instruction and the reasoning behind it appear clear to Miss Manners. Why are you contemplating violating it?
Ah, sure, so that you don’t go hungry. If what is obtainable is just not sufficient, certainly you possibly can eat earlier than you attend.
However maybe that starvation is for the appreciation others present for the dishes you convey. Honest sufficient, though nonetheless not an excuse for going in opposition to the host’s expressed want.
However you’ll be gratified: Somebody is sure to say, “You didn’t bring your wonderful pasta dish? I look forward to that all year.” With a bit of luck, this is likely to be stated inside your father-in-law’s listening to.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: My brother-in-law simply knowledgeable us, very last-minute, that he’s coming to our home for Christmas.
Each time he visits, he sleeps till round 10. My husband and I’ve three youngsters, ages 8, 3 and eight months. Ought to we now have the youngsters wait to open items till their uncle is awake, discuss to him about waking earlier since it’s Christmas, or simply let the youngsters open items earlier than their uncle is up?
I don’t suppose he’d have any subject with us not ready for him.
GENTLE READER: Then why are you contemplating torturing younger youngsters and turning them in opposition to their uncle?
Miss Manners suggests solely the courtesy of telling your brother-in-law that the youngsters can be opening their presents at 7, if they’ll wait even that lengthy, however that he’s welcome to sleep in.
