DEAR MISS MANNERS: I simply moved into a brand new residence, and I needed to maintain that data non-public on the place the place I’m quickly working.
I’m not notably near anybody there. A number of persons are good to me, however to not the purpose of being buddies.
Effectively, phrase acquired out about my home, and now a number of individuals have invited themselves over or hinted as a lot. None of those individuals have ever socialized with me, so I discover it odd and awkward that they’d instantly invite themselves.
I don’t entertain anyway, however I do know telling them that won’t work. I’m simply actually bothered that they are saying, “You’ll have to invite us over.”
What would you do? I would like a listing of excuses!
GENTLE READER: No, you want just one: “I’m not planning anything.” Or fewer than one, if that’s attainable: a strained smile and silence.
Miss Manners understands that individuals who have bother saying no is perhaps sorry to disappoint those that importune them. Or they might be cowed by the authority with which some individuals state their calls for. However to provide a selected excuse is to confess that the matter is open for dialogue.
You say you’re busy? “Well, when will you be free?” they may ask.
You say that the home is just not prepared for guests? “That’s all right; we don’t expect it to be in perfect shape.”
You say you’ve gotten company coming? “We’d love to meet them.”
And so forth.
For those who don’t provide materials, they will’t argue.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’m 64 years outdated. My mom insists that when I’m provided one other serving to of meals, it’s impolite for me to answer, “No, thank you, I’m full.” She says I ought to simply say “No, thank you” and go away it at that as a result of nobody desires to know whether or not I’m full.
If I say that I’m full, she frowns and offers me a withering look. In truth, she provides me the identical look once I simply say “No, thank you” as a result of she all the time thinks I’m going so as to add that I’m full.
Nonetheless, a lot of my different family members commonly say that they’re full! Is my mother proper?
GENTLE READER: At all times. And Miss Manners agrees that picturing your full abdomen has a foul impact on different individuals’s appetites.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I used to be visiting a pricey buddy’s residence just a few days after her husband died. Whereas I used to be there, her grownup daughter arrived from out of city. I had not met her earlier than.
We have been launched, after which I mentioned, “I’m sorry for your loss.”
She instantly mentioned, “I hate it when people say that,” and continued to complain about individuals all the time saying that.
What was I purported to say in response? I used to be speechless.
GENTLE READER: Good. Since you wouldn’t have needed to upset your buddy by providing double condolences — for dropping her husband, and in addition for having a impolite daughter.
