Miss Manners: The host denied meals to the children who have been late to the celebration

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I attended a kids’s celebration at a widely known pizza place the place tables are reserved for just a few hours and the kids can play video games.

My group arrived 10 minutes late to seek out that the opposite visitors, together with the mother and father of the opposite children, have been already being served. I didn’t actually thoughts, as a result of my occasion didn’t embody children.

Nevertheless, one other group that arrived 20 minutes after the beginning time did embody kids, and so they didn’t get any pizza: The host refused to order for them as a result of they have been late. The poor children have been devastated.

Ought to the host have ordered extra meals for the latecomers, particularly because the different mother and father have been consuming meals meant for the kids?

GENTLE READER: Put one other means, was the host right to publicly chastise the mother and father and punish them, and their kids, by withholding meals? Miss Manners is assured you already know the reply isn’t any.

A extra attention-grabbing query is how the group that arrived after you must have responded. Many adults will suppose that the host’s rudeness justifies an indignant response — and naturally, that might vastly entertain the kids. However that might be incorrect.

They need to order their very own meals and be charming to the birthday youngster — and icily correct with the host.

If the kids are of an age to know, one can take satisfaction in explaining the lesson within the automobile on the way in which residence — specifically, that one’s conduct demonstrates one’s character. We behave properly as a result of we’re good, respectable individuals. Johnny’s mother was impolite as a result of … she will not be.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Recently it has appeared that the phrases “We’re pregnant” and “They’re pregnant” have been subsumed into acceptable utilization.

Though I’m not a physician, final time I checked, solely girls get pregnant. There isn’t a organic actuality the place a girl and her associate are each pregnant with the identical child. Therefore, “My partner is pregnant” or “They’re expecting” are extra correct.

I perceive that society is ablaze with inclusive pronouns, however that is past the pale.

Just one individual will probably be wrangling the precise being pregnant. There isn’t a “we” when she’s vomiting, being painfully kicked from inside her physique, or going by the trials of labor and supply. Her danger of extreme issues from being pregnant and childbirth ought to not less than enable her to personal the situation.

GENTLE READER: Though Miss Manners believes that these you condemn probably grasp fundamental biology, and are referring to their shared dedication, she finds herself extra focused on a elementary query of our time.

That’s: When is it proper to be indignant about others’ innocent selections? And its corollary: When does the correctness of 1’s place justify gagging etiquette and locking her within the closet?

Opposite to standard opinion, the reply to each questions is “almost never.”

You might be clearly not going to make use of plural pronouns to your personal or your associate’s doable pregnancies. However please chorus from accosting {couples} who do.