DEAR MISS MANNERS: We’ve got pretty good neighbors on both aspect of our fence. Our outside seating space is roughly 20 meters from that of every of our neighbors.
We stay close to a forest and get to listen to beautiful birdsong, owls at night time, and so forth.
One neighbor likes to spend many of the day outdoor and has made feedback about how she longs for “a quiet life.”
In gentle of this, is it OK to talk at a traditional quantity after I’m in my backyard? Or ought to I be hushing my tone slightly?
Once I’m consuming espresso outdoor with my husband and youngsters, certainly it’s not dangerous etiquette to have a traditional dialog at an extraordinary quantity. I don’t need to upset my neighbor, however nor do I need to should whisper in my very own backyard.
GENTLE READER: You and your loved ones might, Miss Manners assures you, communicate at regular quantity by yourself property — with the caveat, maybe, that if any of you will get excited and the sound stage goes excessive, you retain it in examine.
Besides maybe to say loudly, “Shhh, let’s be respectful of the neighbors!” simply so that you get factors for effort.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: My companion and I went on a brief trip to a metropolis the place an previous good friend of mine lives. I referred to as her months in the past, asking to stick with her and her companion for one night time, however she stated she didn’t have room.
I’ve identified this lady for 45 years and have stayed together with her at the least 20 instances prior to now. Nonetheless, not an issue — we booked a stunning place to remain and had a good time.
Initially, she requested us to come back and spend the day at their place, then exit on their boat and keep for dinner. Then, final minute, she stated that wouldn’t work, both.
So I requested in the event that they needed to come back into city (an 11-mile drive for them). She stated sure. They got here to the lodge, the place all of us had a beverage (that we offered) out by the pool, after which went to a restaurant the place I had made a reservation.
At dinner, my good friend’s companion (whom I had by no means met, as my good friend is a current widow) confirmed us his super-expensive watch and fancy gold chain.
Then the invoice got here, and so they each simply sat there. So my companion took and paid the invoice, which was over $300.
In hindsight, I felt I ought to have requested them to at the least deal with the tip. Your ideas?
GENTLE READER: That for no matter motive, your good friend now not desires to host. And that motive might nicely have been to keep away from the expense of all of it.
Together with your persistence, nonetheless, she discovered a intelligent method to see you and have you ever pay. It was not gracious, however asking her and her companion to pay the tip would have been impolite (flashy gold equipment however).
Miss Manners means that subsequent time you’re on the town, you casually point out it to her, however don’t ask to make plans.
