DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’ve a member of the family who eats so slowly that everybody will get antsy ready for her, particularly the children.
She solely begins severely consuming when everybody else is completed. She takes tiny bites, chewing very slowly, whereas everybody watches her.
It feels controlling and attention-seeking. How can I politely begin serving dessert earlier than she is completed?
GENTLE READER: In a loud voice, meant to be addressed to the antsy youngsters (whether or not or not they really requested), Miss Manners suggests saying, “Normally we wait until everyone is finished eating, but I don’t want to rush Cousin Sophie. With your permission, Sophie, we will start to clear the dishes. But please let us know when you are ready for dessert.”
DEAR MISS MANNERS: Certainly one of my in-laws will look ahead to an individual to complete talking, then say one thing on a very totally different topic. No “hmmm,” “interesting” or some other noncommittal phrase to acknowledge what the opposite particular person was speaking about.
In keeping with his spouse, his cause for doing that is “not knowing what to say about it.”
If considered one of us desires to return to the earlier topic, earlier than he modified it, would we be impolite for doing so?
GENTLE READER: It will depend on the way you finesse it. Miss Manners wouldn’t need it to look as in the event you had been doing the identical factor to him.
She suggests modeling the proper option to segue in a dialog, saying, “I would love to hear more about that movie series, Jackson, but going back to that restaurant Caroline mentioned — I’ve been meaning to try it. You say they have good hummus?”
DEAR MISS MANNERS: After we exit to eat, my husband sits there throughout the desk from me and flirts with different ladies, whether or not they’re clients or restaurant staff. What ought to I say to him?
GENTLE READER: “Stop it.”
DEAR MISS MANNERS: When visiting our daughter, who’s a graduate pupil, my husband and I went out to dinner together with her, her boyfriend, her buddy and the buddy’s mom.
The mom is a single dad or mum, and we’ve met her a number of occasions.
My husband and I paid for the meal, which we thought was the well mannered factor to do. However desirous about it afterwards, we realized that if the buddy’s mom had a husband, we presumably would have break up the test.
Additionally, the buddy’s mom is sort of rich — the truth is, wealthier than we’re.
If we discover ourselves going out once more, how ought to we method the test?
GENTLE READER: Who’s doing the inviting? That is the one that ought to pay, normally, no matter wealth or marital standing.
It might be gracious for this lady to reciprocate, however in the event you discover that she is constantly not doing so, Miss Manners suggests you weigh the prospect of paying her portion (and resenting it) towards the resentment of your daughter’s buddy for having her mother excluded.
