DEAR MISS MANNERS: We’ve an older live-in nanny for our two younger youngsters.
Throughout the week, she stays in our basement, the place she has a bed room, lavatory and dwelling space, and he or she goes dwelling on the weekends.
She has expressed to us that she feels uncomfortable when now we have company keep in her quarters over the weekend.
It appears odd to me that the basement ought to be completely “hers” even when she shouldn’t be there. Are we within the fallacious?
GENTLE READER: By your personal description, sure. She is a live-in worker, not a transient visitor amongst different potential company. These are her dwelling quarters, no matter the place she spends her time without work.
Presumably, she retains her garments and different private possessions there. Leaving them out on your company to see have to be disconcerting, and packing them away can be a nuisance.
Miss Manners suggests you consider this association the best way you’ll a rental property: Sure, it’s nonetheless yours, however you would not have the usage of it for the time period when you have got put in somebody there.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’ve seen younger males with their moms selecting out a hoop that the younger girl of his alternative is meant to like and put on perpetually. What in the event that they picked one thing she actually didn’t like?
I want to suggest a brand new custom: The proposal is made and accepted, however as a substitute of a hoop, the proposer provides a jewel field that accommodates a diamond, or a stone that the newly minted bride-to-be likes, and an appointment time at a jeweler to pick the setting that fits the wearer and the proposer’s funds.
The proposer ought to have already discovered what sort of stone is desired and the form of the stone. The proposer can then select the stone that matches the funds and can please its wearer.
Usually jewelers permit the stone to get replaced with a bigger one and the worth is discounted by the price of the unique stone.
GENTLE READER: Level taken. However reasonably than ship these gents round evaluating stones they know nothing about, Miss Manners want to suggest the revival of an older custom.
Earlier than a hoop turned a prop in efficiency artwork proposals, it was not thought-about essential to current one on the time — or in any respect. The provide of marriage was considered thrilling sufficient.
In addition to, what was the gentleman imagined to do with an costly buy if he weren’t accepted?
Presuming success, he may provide her a household ring, if he had been lucky sufficient to have one. (Admittedly, that may be laborious to say no, however the girl may all the time say later that it was so treasured to her that she wouldn’t threat dropping it, subsequently carrying it solely on particular events.)
Absent a household ring, nevertheless, the accepted suitor would make a personal go to to a jeweler beforehand and put aside a choice of rings in his value vary. Presuming success, there would then be a pleasant tour when he introduced her to make her alternative.
