Miss Manners: Our buddy received’t be consuming. How can we make that much less awkward?

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Now we have a longtime buddy, and now neighbor, who can not devour meals orally attributable to intensive most cancers surgical procedures and coverings years in the past.

They will devour very restricted portions of liquids, however they use a tube-feeding course of for all vitamin, and have executed so for years.

We’ll quickly host a proper, seated ceremonial dinner for a dozen neighbors to fulfill the most recent individuals who have moved to our avenue. This contains our buddy. The buddy accepted our invitation, clearly wishing to be included within the introductions and dialog, which was our desired final result.

They’ve attended a number of informal social occasions at our residence prior to now, however by no means a seated occasion centered round a meal. What’s the most well mannered strategy to set the dinner desk when one particular person is not going to be consuming any meals? Ought to there nonetheless be plates and flatware at their spot, or solely glasses? Or a full place setting, however with none meals?

Now we have thought of providing the buddy the choice to make use of their tube-feeding methodology whereas seated on the desk; the method is pretty routine and acquainted to me, attributable to an extended profession in well being care. Nevertheless, for this particular person, the method requires being reclined.

We do intend to permit this buddy to offer any private rationalization to the brand new friends, who will likely be unaware of the scenario. However the place setting (or lack thereof), plus the shortage of any meals, will definitely draw everybody’s consideration.

GENTLE READER: Setting the desk in full could be Miss Manners’ alternative, to keep away from forcing your buddy to reply to others exclaiming, “You don’t have a plate.”

However she wonders why, in such particular circumstances, the one who has probably the most expertise and is most affected by the scenario just isn’t instantly consulted.

Please ask your buddy for his or her desire.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A buddy’s daughter lately died. In lieu of flowers, they instructed a donation to a charity, which we did.

We’ll inform them we made the donation, however ought to we inform them how a lot we gave?

GENTLE READER: Why?

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Do we’ve till March to ship New Yr’s playing cards?

GENTLE READER: It is dependent upon what turn-of-the-year you’re celebrating.

Oh, go forward when you’re prepared. Miss Manners suspects that the recipients will simply blame the put up workplace.