DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I purchased our residence about 4 years in the past. The home is about 20 years previous, and the yard is surrounded by an ordinary picket fence.
The situation of the wooden suggests the fence has been there almost so long as the home, and we predict it desperately must be changed. Two of our neighbors have fences that adjoin ours and which, based mostly on situation, had been constructed across the similar time.
Regardless that it’s our proper to switch our fence, can we owe any consideration to the neighbors? In any case, our shiny new fence will now be abutting the well-worn ones surrounding their yards.
I don’t wish to indicate that I’m asking their permission, as a result of we intend to switch it regardless. However is it price giving them a heads-up that we’re having the work performed? Is there a solution to counsel the potential for them additionally having their fences changed with out it sounding insulting?
I assume that having theirs changed on the similar time, by the identical firm, may save slightly cash — as the employees and supplies will already be on website — however I’m undecided if that is price citing.
We now have good relationships with the entire neighbors and don’t wish to create animosity or awkwardness the place there isn’t any.
GENTLE READER: When anybody needs to specific indignation about an unwelcome encroachment, the accepted metaphor just isn’t, “Can you believe So-and-so was in my living room, uninvited, playing my piano?!”
The expression is, “Can you believe this was going on in my own backyard?!”
Miss Manners mentions this as a reminder that if you wish to preserve good relations with the neighbors, you’ll completely need to be thoughtful, which implies: giving discover of your plans; reassuring them that you’re obtainable to deal with any unintended inconveniences that outcome; taking “no” for a solution to any suggestion that they think about redoing their very own — and spending much less time excited about what you’ve a proper to do.
Luckily, it’s attainable to do all of this with out placing the central query up for debate. Inform them that you’re planning to switch your fence and say that, whereas you don’t have any thought in the event that they had been planning to redo theirs, if they’re, you’ll be comfortable to see if utilizing a single contractor could be a method for everybody to economize.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I used to be working with an older lady and we hit it off very effectively. Her eyes had been noticeably purple, and my ophthalmologist had urged an over-the-counter product for me that works fantastically and is protected to make use of.
I used to be tempted to inform her about it, however thought that it is likely to be embarrassing for her if I discussed her eyes.
Did I do the correct factor by being silent, or did I miss a chance to do somebody a favor?
GENTLE READER: Sure. Presumably.
