DEAR MISS MANNERS: After a meal at a restaurant, my mom is within the behavior of vigorously rubbing each of her arms with one or two lemon slices, squeezing the juice into her palms, pouring water onto a serviette, then wiping her arms.
She is going to even go as far as to shake extra water from her arms onto her plate.
Mom thinks that is completely acceptable eating etiquette, particularly since a finger bowl is normally not offered.
Even when a finger bowl had been accessible, I perceive that one’s use of it will be discreet; one wouldn’t scrub one’s arms and shake them about.
I’ve requested Mom repeatedly to cease her handwashing on the desk. She makes an important present of this, and I discover it embarrassing.
Naturally, Mom received’t take a daughter’s recommendation.
GENTLE READER: This have to be fairly a present.
By the way, you might be appropriate about this not being the best way finger bowls are correctly used. They’re supposed for a fast dip of the fingertips, if mandatory, not a shower.
Miss Manners would suggest, in descending order of problem: 1. telling your mom that you’re blissful to accompany her to the washroom, as you thank the waiter and countermand your mom’s request for lemons; 2. cease going to eating places together with your mom; 3. cease going to occasions at eating places with anybody aside from shut relations; and 4. cease sitting subsequent to your mom at eating places.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’ve an expensive sister who’s 50. She is a busy skilled and homemaker. I’m her 65-year-old brother, residing about 4 hours away, additionally well-educated.
We have now an excellent relationship and see one another just a few occasions a 12 months, and we additionally keep up a correspondence by frequent textual content messages.
My sister apparently doesn’t learn and edit her texts previous to sending them. She possible makes use of a dictation system included in her cellphone that’s susceptible to errors. Often, her messages have an incorrect phrase or two, and they’re usually very complicated — missing context or simply incomprehensible.
What’s a delicate approach of telling her that she must learn and edit her messages as a result of they don’t make sense? She urged I used to be being curt, dismissive and impatient in my return messages, however I didn’t counsel that her rushed, messed-up communications had been a part of the explanation.
Whether or not you may get her to vary her conduct will rely in your relationship and her willingness to accommodate an enormous brother.
However a extra instant repair can be to answer unclear texts individually — and temperately: “Sorry: don’t understand.” When you get comfy with this unruly medium, chances are you’ll graduate to: “?”
