DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’m at present staying with a household good friend and her husband for a couple of days whereas visiting my hometown.
The husband clearly isn’t proud of me staying right here, so I’ve not interacted with him a lot.
On my second day right here, he requested my good friend for a divorce. Now I can hear them preventing, and the strain is insane.
Is it impolite if I simply keep away from him? At present, our conversations are barely existent.
GENTLE READER: At present? Your hosts are preventing to the purpose of divorce, and you might be sticking round, listening? And your solely query is methods to take care of an ungracious host?
A visitor should even be gracious, even below extraordinary circumstances. The rule that applies right here is the one about taking place upon accidents: In the event you can assist, leap in and achieve this. If not, don’t gawk — transfer on.
Miss Manners wonders why you didn’t go away in your personal sake once you observed that the host was sad along with your being there, for no matter purpose. Absolutely the awkwardness and inconvenience you’d have skilled would have been higher than being an unwelcome visitor.
What you may have stated to him and his spouse in your manner out was, “I wish you both well.”
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I dwell in a condominium constructing that has numerous retired individuals in it.
I’ve been on the similar job for 20-plus years, so I’ve numerous trip days. I don’t usually take per week or two off at a time — extra usually only a break day right here and there.
My neighbors can’t get their heads round this. I’ve been repeatedly requested, “Oh, don’t you work every day? Do you have Fridays off? Why aren’t you at work?”
It actually burns me, as they’re implying I’m doing one thing improper and that my schedule is their enterprise.
Many of the old-timers have left since I moved right here, however there are nonetheless a couple of older busybodies round. They appear to undergo from “groupthink” and a bent to intrude with others. Additionally, they’re so oblivious. It goes proper over their heads that they is perhaps bothering individuals with questions like this.
Goodness, if I did have a illness or some form of private purpose for being residence, I wouldn’t essentially need them to know that!
Typically I even go down the stairwell and take totally different routes to keep away from operating into these individuals.
GENTLE READER: Have these individuals not heard about distant work?
Not that Miss Manners believes that listening to that clarification — or some other — would discourage a decided busybody. Sadly, they’re simply after a little bit of dialog.
Which doesn’t imply that you just want present it. Ignore the questions, name out a cheery greeting — “Hi, Mrs. Erskine!” “Nice day, Mr. Lumpkin!” — and maintain transferring.
