DEAR MISS MANNERS: As a trainer for the previous 30 years, I’ve been lucky to obtain considerate presents of thanks and appreciation from my college students and their households throughout the vacation season and on the finish of the college yr.
These presents usually embrace mugs, goodies, baked items or reward playing cards. (Between us, I’ll admit that my favourite presents are notes of appreciation from college students and fogeys.)
In return, I’ve all the time taken the time to jot down cautious and private thank-you notes for every of those presents. A part of my motivation has been to set an instance for my college students, demonstrating the significance of expressing gratitude via a handwritten be aware.
Nonetheless, this follow is time-consuming, significantly throughout my breaks, when the sheer quantity of letters overwhelms me.
At Christmas this yr, the time it took prompted me to pause and mirror: Is it really crucial to jot down a thank-you be aware for a thank-you reward? It feels a bit round.
I can’t think about not writing the notes, however I really feel compelled to ask: Would a less complicated acknowledgment suffice, or is that this a practice I ought to proceed?
GENTLE READER: Sure! Proceed!
Allow us to not danger perpetuating that prevalent, however completely false, thought {that a} current given in thanks needn’t be acknowledged — that it might result in a loop during which the giver and recipient would spend the remainder of their lives thanking one another.
Nonsense. A letter of thanks doesn’t require a response; a gift, given for no matter cause, does.
These youngsters have been in all probability considerably concerned in providing you with these presents — they might even have chosen them. Do you need to go away them questioning should you even cared?
Youngsters virtually by no means obtain letters (properly, neither do adults, today), so these can be particular. You admire letters from them and their mother and father, so that you ought to grasp how a lot they’d admire letters from you.
And it will likely be an extra boon to the mother and father who’re requiring their youngsters to jot down letters of thanks for his or her birthday and vacation presents.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’m completely in a wheelchair because of an harm. There’s nothing unsuitable with my thoughts.
Many individuals assume I can not communicate for myself, and a few transfer my wheelchair in instructions I don’t want to go.
What can I say to those strangers to convey that I’m able to talking for myself and that I don’t care to be handled like a chunk of furnishings?
Some individuals are thoughtful — holding doorways for me and asking if I would really like assist. Others are fairly impolite.
GENTLE READER: “Excuse me, but I am right here” to those that discuss above you. And “STOP!” to anybody impolite sufficient to maneuver your wheelchair with out your permission.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’m feeling caught about how to answer a textual content message that mixes a thank-you and a praise.
For instance, would you reply to a textual content message that claims, “Thank you for the delicious dinner” with a “thank you” (for appreciating the dinner), a “you’re welcome” (for the thank-you), or each?
GENTLE READER: Neither. You’re off free.
