Miss Manners: Is it petty of me to resent this girl’s presumptuous thank-yous?

DEAR MISS MANNERS: For a few years, I’ve been buddies with an individual who’s intellectually disabled. I grew to become acquainted with him and his sister, who cared for him; his sister has now died, and he’s dwelling independently.

I take him on household tenting journeys, take him to lunches and dinners and go to with him usually, as does the remainder of my household. He and my son have developed a stable friendship.

After his sister died, his sister’s longtime finest good friend grew to become his authorized guardian. She thanks me for the issues I do for and with him — e.g., “Thank you for taking (name) camping,” and many others.

I knew him for years earlier than I ever met her. Is it improper or petty of me to resent her thank-yous?

I don’t really feel they’re obligatory, as my friendship with this man is one thing I selected, not one thing I’m doing out of “the goodness of my heart” or some other such sentiment.

How do I deal with this?

GENTLE READER: By responding every time with, “No, no, it is I who am thankful to have such a good friend.”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’m a single girl who’s continuously requested about my plans for marriage.

The people making these inquiries haven’t any enterprise asking this query, not to mention listening to the reply.

I usually smile and alter the topic with out answering their query. Just a few instances, when significantly startled, I’ve responded with, “I beg your pardon.”

Is there a extra well mannered strategy to deal with this extremely impertinent query?

GENTLE READER: “If this is a proposal, I am sorry to have to disappoint you.”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’ve been gathering silver flatware in varied patterns after I see items at actually nice costs.

I additionally like to entertain, each casually and semi-formally. In each instances, I really like to combine up the place settings with all of my completely different patterns.

At this level, I’ve donated all my stainless-steel flatware and solely use the actual silver.

Is it gauche for me to be utilizing all these silver patterns collectively? My china can be a sample whereby every bit is a distinct floral. My tablescape seems to be like a beautiful English backyard, and to me, it’s very stunning.

I hope you inform me I’m not committing a horrible fake pas.

GENTLE READER: Nicely, you’re leaving the impression that you’ve got descended from well-stocked households, and inherited silver from varied branches. So long as you don’t truly say so, Miss Manners can not rely this as a fake pas.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I obtained an invite to a sixtieth wedding ceremony anniversary occasion and it states: “Absolutely no gifts.”

What can I do for the stunning couple, with whom I’ve been buddies for a lot of, a few years? I actually need to give them one thing!!!

GENTLE READER: Then give them one thing priceless: a letter of appreciation about them and their friendship.