DEAR MISS MANNERS: My spouse and I visited a good friend and her new companion for the weekend. Her companion drove us to an outing about 20 miles away and went 95 mph on the freeway.
Regardless of fearing for our lives, we stated nothing. On the best way again, nevertheless, I politely requested the companion if he may please preserve his pace underneath 80 mph.
He instantly turned indignant, acquired out of the automotive and informed me I ought to drive and that he would sit within the again with my spouse. I informed him I might not drive and to simply please obey the pace limits.
After a heated change, he coldly acquired again within the automotive, drove extra slowly, and by no means stated one other phrase for the remainder of the journey. It was very uncomfortable. Was I proper to talk up?
GENTLE READER: If an affordable individual would really feel that the choice to talking up would have been to be discovered useless by the aspect of the highway when the native constabulary made their rounds Monday morning, then this isn’t an etiquette query.
The etiquette query is: What to do after everybody acquired again within the automotive?
Miss Manners’ reply is: Play dumb. After sufficient time has handed to permit everybody to get better their bearings, resume as regular an interplay together with your good friend as you’ll be able to muster — talking about different issues for the remainder of the weekend.
It gained’t idiot anybody, however it’s a must to move the time a way, you aren’t more likely to settle for a second invitation, and it’s higher than enjoying useless.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’ve acquired a number of invites to giant, deliberate occasions through group textual content.
Whether or not for a retirement social gathering, bridal bathe or anniversary celebration, every message included the picture of an invite, with the usual design and presentation. This indicated a specific amount of pomp and circumstance and prompted a response.
I truly respect this new norm, as I discover that I’m extra more likely to instantly seek the advice of my calendar and concern a well timed response than I do with mailed invites. I additionally like that I get to see the remainder of the visitor record.
Nevertheless, with out an envelope or different specification of addressees, it’s normally unclear which members of my family are included within the invitation. I don’t need to look like I’m making an attempt to ask my kids to an occasion that isn’t supposed for them, however having to rearrange childcare is usually a figuring out issue for whether or not we attend.
Is there a well mannered option to ask for clarification on this level?
GENTLE READER: Ship a separate textual content to the host asking if kids are included within the invitation. Word the phrasing: You aren’t asking for an exception on your kids, however somewhat if the occasion contains kids usually.
After you have gotten a response, thank the host for the invitation and say you’ll test calendars and reply shortly. Miss Manners is aware of that your response to the occasion is dependent upon whether or not the youngsters had been invited, however there isn’t any purpose to let the host know that.
