DEAR MISS MANNERS: My brother and his spouse have been visiting me for every week. Throughout that week, I used to be invited to a barbecue on the house of some outdated associates.
I defined that my brother and sister-in-law have been visiting and requested if it will be OK for them to attend. The hostess mentioned “of course.” I made additional parts of meals and introduced them alongside.
Now, my partner has mentioned that it was impolite of me to just accept the invitation and that by asking whether or not my visiting brother might attend I used to be placing the hostess on the spot and that she couldn’t say no.
As these are outdated associates, and I’ve met a lot of their households at different occasions (together with ones I’ve hosted), I didn’t suppose asking this query about my very own family was impolite. Was it?
GENTLE READER: Properly, there’s a system that makes it simpler on the hostess. In case you say, “Oh, we’d love to, but my brother and sister-in-law are visiting then,” she will say both “Please bring them” or “I’d love to meet them another time.”
There are well mannered methods to say no. If not, we’d all be on the mercy of anybody suggesting something.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’ve expertise and pursuits which might be somewhat uncommon in fashionable occasions.
I take pleasure in these hobbies immensely, although I make a degree of not bringing them up with new acquaintances, since they aren’t prone to make a two-way dialog circulate.
After I meet a pal of a pal, nevertheless, my pursuits are invariably part of the introduction, normally adopted by a remark like, “She’s so good at everything, it makes me sick!”
I’m actually not good at every thing. There are many issues I’m simply horrible at!
Maybe there’s expertise in what I do properly, past the educational of a ability, however I’ve labored exhausting to develop that expertise — to not showcase, however simply because it fascinates me.
I’d be completely thrilled to show anybody who needed to be taught, since I hate to think about these expertise turning into extinct. Actually, anyone who needed to be taught might.
I notice that my associates imply to precise admiration for expertise they don’t possess and don’t care to realize, however being informed I “make them sick” could be very off-putting to me, and I do not know how I’m supposed to reply.
GENTLE READER: “Oh, I’m so sorry! I never dreamed my little interests would upset you. Are you going to be all right?”
DEAR MISS MANNERS: My hair is so skinny on high you’ll be able to see my scalp. I’m going to an upscale night marriage ceremony. Wouldn’t it be a social error to put on a hat?
GENTLE READER: Aren’t weddings what hats are for? Properly, enhancing heads, too.
Maybe you’re involved as a result of it’s a night marriage ceremony. However in that case, you put on what’s aptly known as a fascinator — one thing whimsical however and not using a brim, strategically positioned.
