DEAR MISS MANNERS: Once I was in faculty, a buddy’s household graciously opened their dwelling to me for a few months whereas I labored a summer time job close to their dwelling, which was an hour from my household’s.
I did my greatest to deal with their dwelling as respectfully as my mother and father’ dwelling, and on the finish of summer time, I gave them what I might afford out of my earnings for his or her kindness.
Throughout one night meal, I used to be having fun with some backyard tomatoes that the girl of the home had supplied. She interrupted the meal — loudly, however with a smile supposed to melt the blow — saying, “Uh-oh! Looks like somebody wasn’t taught to eat their tomatoes with a fork and knife!”
I used to be momentarily confused, as a result of I had certainly not been taught this, nor did I do know it was anticipated. I instantly complied, and have eaten tomatoes correctly ever since. I do know that her course was appropriate, and I realized a useful etiquette lesson.
I simply think about that, previous to that night, she should have endured my boorish manners with horror, and dealt with it as greatest she might. Hopefully, she not less than knew by my expression that I acted from ignorance somewhat than inconsideration.
As a result of I worth that life lesson, but additionally bear in mind the embarrassment, how ought to I deal with it if one thing related happens with my youngsters’s pals?
GENTLE READER: Helpful although the lesson could have proved, Miss Manners reminds you that correcting one other particular person’s manners is, as a rule, impolite.
Your buddy’s mom was availing herself of the exception for folks and people performing of their place. However making use of it to somebody of school age was a stretch — and doing it in entrance of the household was not almost as gracious as you now characterize it to be.
Higher to offer any instruction later, in non-public, and to restrict your self to transgressions of main import and to ones you’re feeling might be well-received.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: My accomplice and I prefer to entertain, and we have now the means to take action commonly.
We frequently invite neighbors over, however we omit one particular neighbor (whom we see commonly) as a result of he’s very vocal about his political views. We attempt our greatest to maintain our social occasions lighthearted and enjoyable.
I really feel dangerous that we haven’t invited this neighbor, and I’m positive he notices that he’s not noted.
Is there a technique to inform him that he’d be welcome if he saved his political views to himself? We run into him often, and it has turn into awkward.
GENTLE READER: Extra awkward than telling him that he’s welcome in your home provided that he can hold his opinions to himself?
By no means thoughts. Even when Miss Manners have been capable of concoct such a plan, it might not work.
You need to be capable to select whom you do — or don’t — like, and with whom you want to socialize. However the possibilities that somebody who’s insensible to the issue would show any extra acceptable have been he to restrict his dialog to nonpolitical subjects make this not value pursuing.
