DEAR HARRIETTE: My sister, who’s eight years older than me, confirmed up late to my wedding ceremony and missed practically half of the ceremony.
As my now-husband and I had been exchanging vows, she made a grand entrance that was something however discreet, inflicting an enormous disruption. To make issues worse, she was carrying a white robe, which felt fully inappropriate and disrespectful.
My sister has all the time been considerably tough, and I’ve tried to be understanding of her emotions, particularly since she’s been vocal about her frustration and embarrassment over not being married at 40.
I do know that being single is a delicate subject for her, however her actions at my wedding ceremony felt like a deliberate try to steal the highlight and overshadow my particular second. It’s as if she couldn’t stand to see me pleased and needed to get again at me for locating my particular person.
Ought to I confront her about how her actions affected me?
— Jealous Sister
DEAR JEALOUS SISTER: You completely ought to speak to your sister and let her understand how inappropriate her conduct was at your wedding ceremony.
She has to know higher than to return late, put on a white robe and try to upstage you at this treasured time.
Acknowledge that you recognize she struggles with sensitivity round not being married herself, however your wedding ceremony was not the time to behave out.
Whereas you may make these factors, don’t count on your sister to miraculously apologize and alter. She should be coping with some demons to do such a factor on her sister’s massive day. However not less than you’ll be able to name her on it.
DEAR HARRIETTE: Throughout my 13-year-old daughter’s basketball follow, her coach, a 26-year-old man, challenged her and her teammates to a race, with the promise that if certainly one of them might beat him, he’d throw a pizza occasion for the group.
From the beginning, it appeared like an unfair problem since he’s an grownup and clearly quicker and stronger than a gaggle of 13-year-olds. However my daughter, who could be very fast for her age, took on the problem with enthusiasm. She pushed herself laborious and got here surprisingly near beating him.
When the race ended, as a substitute of congratulating her or praising her effort, the coach accused her of dishonest.
He mentioned she wanted to rerun the race by herself as a punishment, which appeared absurd and punitive. My daughter responded by saying she hadn’t cheated and instructed that he was simply embarrassed as a result of he nearly received beat by a 13-year-old lady.
The state of affairs escalated into an argument, and my daughter was understandably upset.
As a mother or father, I’m undecided if I ought to communicate to the coach instantly, contain the college or the league or simply let my daughter deal with it herself.
— Out-of-Management Coach
DEAR OUT-OF-CONTROL COACH: It’s time so that you can intervene. It feels like your daughter was bullied by her coach, which is unacceptable.
Go to the college principal and report the incident. In case your daughter is as much as it, ask her to recount precisely what occurred. Do it quickly, as it will likely be her phrase towards the coach’s. You want the information outlined clearly in order that the college can decide self-discipline the coach.
The job of a coach is to show and help the group, to not demean them — although typically that does occur.
Your daughter must know that you’ve got her again. That is a type of occasions when she wants you to face up for her.
