DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend and I had an enormous argument, and now he received’t reply my calls or texts.
The blowup was about how he by no means makes time to take heed to me when I’ve points, although I’m there for him. Naturally, his response of backing off reasonably than apologizing harm me deeply.
I noticed him the opposite day within the neighborhood hanging out along with his mates. I walked up and mentioned whats up. At first, he was a bit chilly, however then he acted like every little thing was regular. What ought to I learn from that?
— Can’t Learn the Tea Leaves
DEAR CAN’T READ THE TEA LEAVES: Seems like your boyfriend was pleasant in particular person round mates, in all probability for present. He already confirmed you he’s not there for you if you want him. Consider him and transfer on.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I do business from home, and my roommate does, too. At first, it wasn’t an enormous deal; we thought we might share the area simply and simply use headphones once we had conferences.
Recently, our schedules have began to conflict, and we each find yourself taking video calls on the similar time. Since our condo is small, there’s no actual privateness, and her voice usually carries into my conferences. It’s gotten to the purpose the place I discover myself distracted, lacking key factors and feeling embarrassed when my supervisor feedback on the background noise.
I’ve tried dropping hints, like mentioning how hectic it will get once we each speak without delay, however she by no means appears to choose up on it. She tends to brush it off and say, “Yeah, it’s just part of working from home,” however I don’t assume she realizes how a lot it’s impacting my efficiency.
I’m beginning to really feel annoyed, however I don’t wish to come throughout as controlling or make her really feel like she will’t do her job.
How do I carry this up in a method that’s direct however respectful? Ought to I counsel setting a shared schedule for conferences, or would that be overstepping? I worth our friendship and our dwelling state of affairs, however one thing has to vary earlier than it begins affecting my work much more.
— Creating Construction
DEAR CREATING STRUCTURE: It sounds such as you two want a sensible resolution to this drawback. Bear in mind: This concern might happen for those who had been in an workplace with a financial institution of desks and no door. What individuals in these conditions do is to modulate their voices, talking quietly sufficient to conduct conferences effectively with out overpowering the particular person sitting subsequent to them.
Level out the apparent: You two are stepping on one another as you might be doing all your work. Counsel that you simply give you a mutually useful plan that may show you how to each succeed. Begin by agreeing to decrease your voices.
In case you are in a position, give you a common plan for when every of you’ll have video conferences or calls, and construct them round time when the opposite won’t even be on calls. Use a background picture that retains your atmosphere impartial, and steal away to the toilet or one other nook of your condo if you want a little bit of privateness.
