DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m having a serious dilemma. Initially of this 12 months, I shared with my boss that I wished to depart in about three months to go to a brand new metropolis.
I gave my supervisors ample discover as a result of I’ve been there for years and knew they’d recognize me being there to coach my alternative.
My firm ended up providing me a switch to an workplace within the metropolis of my selection; they only requested that I keep put lengthy sufficient for them to rent another person.
I began looking for a house and making ready to maneuver, however my firm continued to push again my depart date. It looks like they’re holding their provide hostage.
I’m now below contract for a house in California, and my employer is asking for “just one more month,” which they stated final month and the one earlier than that.
It looks like if I wait for his or her inexperienced mild, I’ll by no means get to maneuver, and if I’m going by myself timeline, I’ll lose my job and subsequently not have the ability to afford the transfer. What are my choices?
— Damned If I Do
DEAR DAMNED IF I DO: Ask your organization to make the mortgage cost in your new residence till they’re prepared so that you can transfer. Level out that you’ve got accommodated their request, and now it’s their flip that will help you after altering the phrases of their earlier provide.
If that doesn’t work, it could be time to search for one other job since they’re stringing you alongside.
DEAR HARRIETTE: My sister just lately went by means of a divorce, and it’s been troublesome for her.
She has two younger youngsters, and I can see how overwhelmed and burdened she is, attempting to juggle her work, caring for the children, managing the family and attempting to maintain her life on monitor.
I wish to be there for her, however I’m undecided of one of the best ways to assist. I don’t wish to overstep or make her really feel like I’m judging her, however I additionally don’t wish to sit again and do nothing whereas she struggles.
I’ve tried asking my sister if she wants assist, however she typically insists she’s advantageous, even after I know she’s not. I fear about her psychological well being in addition to how the stress is affecting her youngsters.
I wish to assist her in sensible methods, like serving to with errands, meals or baby care, however I additionally wish to be a supply of emotional assist and luxury with out overwhelming her.
How can I be there for my sister in a method that really helps her and her youngsters throughout this difficult time whereas respecting her area and independence?
— Need To Assist
DEAR WANT TO HELP: Why not begin with a easy provide like spending a number of hours on the weekend partaking the children? Which will imply taking them to bop class or sports activities follow or designing a particular outing to provide your sister a break.
This can even provide help to join together with your sister’s youngsters and maintain their minds off their mother and father’ divorce.
Be particular together with your provides so she doesn’t should suppose a lot. Counsel pizza evening — your deal with — on Friday, and see how she responds. Supply to select up groceries the subsequent time you might be already going to the grocery retailer.
If you happen to make it seem to be it’s not an imposition to you, she could also be extra inclined to agree to simply accept your assist.
