DEAR HARRIETTE: I by chance found via a viral TikTok video that my childhood pal has been utilizing my private tales and experiences as materials for her stand-up comedy routine.
We was neighbors, and naturally, we used to share every part rising up, from secrets and techniques to goals, and I all the time trusted her to maintain my private life non-public.
Now, seeing these intimate moments become jokes for a crowd to giggle at seems like a betrayal of that belief.
Whereas I’m completely satisfied for her success, I can’t assist however really feel uncomfortable with how public and private my life experiences have turn into with out my permission. It’s like my innermost ideas and reminiscences have been placed on show for the world to see, and I by no means consented to that.
I do know that comedians typically draw inspiration from their very own lives and the lives of these round them, however there ought to be boundaries with regards to sharing another person’s private tales.
I need to tackle this example with my pal in a respectful and sincere method. I have to have a dialog along with her about how I really feel and categorical my considerations in regards to the boundaries which have been crossed. Any recommendation could be priceless.
— Pal’s Betrayal
DEAR FRIEND’S BETRAYAL: Converse to an lawyer first to seek out out in case you have any authorized footing on this matter. That is essential if you happen to select to press her to give up telling your tales. You don’t have to steer with that whenever you discuss to her; simply know what recourse, if any, you’ve got.
Attain out to your pal and ask to get collectively. Share that you’ve observed her success — and likewise her content material. Inform her how shocked and disenchanted you have been to find that she was sharing your private life story on stage with out your permission. Ask her to cease.
What she says subsequent will inform your subsequent steps. With out eager to additional out your self, you most likely have little recourse until you be taught that you could sue her.
DEAR HARRIETTE: My office not too long ago carried out a brand new coverage that requires everybody to take part in team-building actions exterior of labor hours. It consists of raffles and prizes that you could win by answering questions relating to our firm processes.
Whereas I perceive the intention, these actions are taking over a variety of my private time.
I’m reluctant to voice my considerations as a result of I don’t need to seem uncooperative when everybody else doesn’t appear to have an issue with it. I attempted to dodge just a few instances by saying I’ve an emergency, however I observed my supervisor grew to become extra important of my output afterward. I think it’s due to my lack of cooperation with the actions.
I heard managers get incentives when their staff wins. How do you suppose I can tackle this in a constructive means?
— Workplace Politics
DEAR OFFICE POLITICS: Lauren Wesley Wilson, creator of “What Do You Need?,” tells a narrative of herself doing her finest at work, however being unwilling to do the extracurricular actions.
At that stage in her profession, she thought that being glorious at her job ought to be sufficient. She says she shortly discovered that team-building is equally essential, and that features collaborating in exterior actions which can be priceless to your organization.
My suggestion to you is to do the requested actions with a smile in your face and get to know your teammates. It’s going to repay in the long term.
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