DEAR HARRIETTE: My uncle raised his son and daughter on their own, and I believe it was a battle for him.
Over time, he put affection on the again burner and have become results-driven. He did his greatest to ensure his youngsters had been A college students, hard-working, well-behaved, well-spoken and aligned for fulfillment.
I believe his inflexible parenting fashion took a toll on his son, my cousin “Matt.” When Matt went away for school, he was now not an A scholar. Though he managed to graduate, he struggled to search out work afterward.
Every time we’re all collectively, my uncle is judgmental and doesn’t draw back from sharing his disappointment in his youngsters.
I can see the way it impacts my cousin, however I don’t know what to say to my uncle. I chime in generally to remind him that Matt is on his means and has a great job now, however nothing is sweet sufficient for my uncle.
I wish to get via to him, however he’s so caught in his methods. How can I cease him from emotionally scarring my cousin additional?
— By no means Sufficient
DEAR NEVER ENOUGH: Your uncle might by no means pay attention, however you may strive speaking to him privately.
Level out that you understand how onerous he labored to maintain his youngsters to arrange them to turn out to be accountable adults. Notice that you just assume he did a terrific job, and add that you’ve got seen how harshly he treats Matt and that it appears to be negatively affecting him.
Give him the instance of how he publicly berates his son about his shortcomings in entrance of the household and the way uncomfortable and embarrassing that’s. Counsel that he discover the optimistic issues about his son and have a good time these a bit extra.
Your uncle might get indignant with you, however a minimum of you’ll have mentioned it. Furthermore, keep in contact along with your cousin and be his peer cheerleader. He’ll recognize that.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I’ve been struggling in my enterprise all 12 months resulting from dropping a number of large contracts on the finish of final 12 months.
I haven’t been bringing within the revenue I must survive and pay my workforce, and I’ve depleted my financial savings; it’s an enormous battle.
When I attempt to discuss to my husband about it, he shrugs it off and tells me to not complain. He says if I discuss how unhealthy issues are, they’ll worsen.
I believe he’s unsuitable. We have to discuss actuality and the way we are going to transfer ahead on considerably much less revenue.
How do I get him to take this critically? We’re in a disaster.
— Broke
DEAR BROKE: Calculate all your bills on your family and your enterprise. Write all of it down. Then write down all your earnings. Put the 2 subsequent to one another so that you could see the place you might be financially.
Make it clear to him with side-by-side numbers. Inform him you need assistance determining a means ahead. That is actual and have to be addressed now earlier than issues worsen.
