DEAR HARRIETTE: I am going to a canine park weekly, and there’s one canine proprietor who retains letting their canine leap throughout me and my canine, regardless that I’ve repeatedly tried to set boundaries.
I’ve politely requested them to manage their canine, and I’ve even stepped in entrance of my canine to dam the opposite canine when it will get too tough, however nothing appears to stay.
Each time it occurs, the canine proprietor laughs it off and says, “Oh, he’s just excited!” or “He doesn’t mean anything by it,” however I really feel disrespected, and my canine appears burdened by the repeated interactions.
What makes it worse is that the opposite regulars on the park additionally giggle it off, so I begin to really feel like I’m the one overreacting.
I like going to the canine park, and I take pleasure in socializing, however this example has made it traumatic, and I’m beginning to dread attending. I wish to proceed having fun with the park with out continually worrying about somebody ignoring my boundaries.
How can I assertively and politely deal with this example in order that my canine and I are revered with out seeming like I’m overreacting or creating pointless pressure with the opposite canine proprietor?
— Crossing the Line
DEAR CROSSING THE LINE: Are you able to carry a protect of some sort which you could maintain up between you and this canine the subsequent time it lunges at you or your canine? Which will appear excessive, but it surely ought to get the purpose throughout that you simply aren’t permitting this conduct anymore.
DEAR HARRIETTE: Considered one of my greatest associates lately received divorced. Within the course of, she talked to me and my husband about her troubles a lot that it looks like they could have rubbed off on us. Now my husband and I are bickering continually, although we by no means did that earlier than.
How can we get again to the peacefulness that we as soon as had, now that our pal’s trauma has disrupted it?
— Reconnection
DEAR RECONNECTION: It begins with the popularity that you simply simply talked about: You each see that you simply had been influenced by your pal’s divorce. See that for what it’s and switch again to one another.
Remind yourselves that your marriage is uniquely your personal. Return to doing issues collectively that you simply as soon as beloved. Cease speaking to different individuals about their marriages, and positively don’t speak to anybody else about yours. Flip to one another for perception, understanding and love.
When your pal comes up in dialog, settle for that her marriage issues might have impacted you, however that doesn’t must be true any longer.
Work to see one another for who you might be. Keep in mind the way you behave and what your strengths and challenges are. Comply with take care of your points collectively, and do your greatest to not superimpose others’ conduct on one another. Give yourselves the good thing about the doubt.
Select to like and nurture one another. Make that alternative day-after-day.
