DEAR HARRIETTE: I received married not too long ago, and whereas the day was lovely total, a number of sudden visitors confirmed up — precise marriage ceremony crashers!
At first, I assumed possibly they had been distant mates of my husband’s, however it grew to become apparent they didn’t know anybody. They ate, drank and even joined us on the dance ground like they belonged there.
By the point we realized what was taking place, they’d already helped themselves to meals, drinks and favors meant for our visitors.
I’m nonetheless upset fascinated by how they took benefit of such a big day. A part of me feels foolish for caring for the reason that marriage ceremony was in any other case superb, however one other a part of me feels disrespected.
How do I let go of the frustration and give attention to the constructive with out feeling like I let one thing so cheesy slide?
It’s turn out to be the story everybody retains citing once they discuss my marriage ceremony, and I hate that it’s overshadowing the great reminiscences. Ought to I simply snicker it off, or is it OK that I’m nonetheless bothered by it? I need to transfer on, however I can’t assist replaying the second and questioning how individuals might be so thoughtless.
— Crashers
DEAR CRASHERS: Each marriage ceremony has its idiosyncrasies. Yours had marriage ceremony crashers. Embrace the novelty of it. Your marriage ceremony was so sizzling that others wished to affix the enjoyable!
DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend not too long ago moved in with me, and ever since then, my cat’s conduct has utterly modified.
She’s been appearing out: scratching furnishings, hiding for hours and even refusing to eat generally. She was once calm and affectionate, however now she appears anxious and territorial.
My companion is making an attempt to be affected person, however I can inform he’s getting annoyed, particularly for the reason that cat hisses at him each time he walks by or tries to sit down close to me. It’s creating pressure between us, and I really feel caught within the center making an attempt to maintain everybody completely satisfied.
I’ve tried introducing them slowly, giving the cat area and even shopping for new toys to distract her, however nothing appears to assist.
My boyfriend thinks I’m overreacting and that the cat will “get over it,” however I do know she’s genuinely confused.
I really feel responsible as a result of I used to be so excited for us to lastly stay collectively, and now it seems like we’re each strolling on eggshells round my pet. I really like them each, however I’m beginning to marvel if this residing state of affairs is sustainable.
How can I assist my cat alter to this massive change with out it placing extra pressure on my relationship?
— Standoff
DEAR STANDOFF: Specialists say it generally takes time for cats and lovers to turn out to be mates. My analysis means that you need to rebuild a relationship with every of them in order that jealousy reduces to a minimal and each of them understand how a lot you’re keen on them.
Catster.com advises having separate one-on-one time along with your cat and your boyfriend, closing the door if you need alone time along with your man and setting apart time for the 2 of them to bond with out you round.
In case your cat is motivated by meals, you may need your boyfriend begin feeding her so she has that constructive affiliation. You can even strive calling in a pet coach for extra customized assist.
