DEAR ABBY: For the previous two years, my husband and I’ve attended a vacation live performance with our good pal “Ellie,” who lives two hours away.
Ellie lately instructed a pal of hers how fantastic the live performance was, and now the pal desires to return to city to see it. The issue? We don’t like this individual for a number of causes, however Ellie has chosen to ask this pal to attend the live performance together with her.
We really feel slighted. How ought to we method this with Ellie?
— OUT OF TUNE IN ARIZONA
DEAR OUT: I like to recommend you not try this.
It’s possible you’ll be shut with Ellie, however you shouldn’t attempt to dictate whom she invitations to be her friends to occasions. For those who do, you’ll alienate her.
Settle for that if you wish to attend the following live performance you’ll have to purchase your tickets individually, and whenever you encounter Ellie and her pal whom you abhor, be cordial.
DEAR ABBY: Some relations come a couple of times a 12 months from out of state to remain at my in-laws’ home.
For the previous 20-plus years, it has been the identical routine. They present up, however we by no means know forward of time when or how lengthy they’re staying. We’re anticipated to drop all the pieces to go over there to go to with them so long as they’re on the town. There aren’t any plans and no schedule; we simply sit round ready for them to resolve what they wish to do.
I’m so bored with it. I would like realizing forward of time so I gained’t need to cancel my earlier plans once they present up. It’s good to speak, however I’d wish to know beforehand that they’re coming so I can meet them for a meal or exercise quite than sit for hours.
Can I make this request now that it has been occurring for therefore lengthy?
— BURDENED IN THE MIDWEST
DEAR BURDENED: Sure, you can also make your needs recognized. What you might be proposing is frequent sense and customary courtesy.
Inform these relations you’re keen on seeing them however would really like some advance discover once they plan to be on the town so you may modify your schedule and take them someplace quite than sit for hours at your in-laws’. It’s solely doable that these relations — AND your in-laws — would admire it.
DEAR ABBY: I’m a widower aged 72, and I’m questioning if it might be inappropriate to contact an previous girlfriend from my faculty days.
Sure, it has been greater than 50 years, and she or he is married with grown youngsters. I’m simply questioning what your place is on this.
It will be good to speak and compensate for our lives, and so forth. She lives 400 miles from the place I do, however I wish to communicate together with her and speak about our lives. Since we each are in our early 70s, there’s clearly not a number of time left.
— CATCHING UP IN GEORGIA
DEAR CATCHING UP: My place is don’t dip your hook within the water except you propose to maintain no matter you catch. Your previous girlfriend is a married girl with a household.
In case your motive is to easily sing a refrain of “Auld Lang Syne,” go forward and attain out. If you’re lonely and there may be something extra to it, then don’t.
Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also called Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
