DEAR ABBY: I’ve recognized my finest good friend, “Carl,” and his spouse for 30 years. We do every thing collectively — cruises, holidays, birthdays, and so on.
They permit (and allow) their boxer canine to go after harmless cats and squirrels. It’s prefer it’s a recreation. The canine doesn’t know any completely different.
I lately adopted two indoor cats. I stay within the nation, and I even have a 5-year-old Lab who wouldn’t damage a bunny.
I can now not permit Carl and his spouse to go to as a result of they (primarily she) have allowed their canine to terrorize the kittens and squirrels of their neighborhood.
I do know she is going to make me out to be a villain and refuse to return if the canine can’t. Carl and I hold avoiding the dialog. Any recommendation?
— APPALLED IN OKLAHOMA
DEAR APPALLED: As I see it you will have two decisions. Both have the dialog you will have been avoiding or go to your good friend solely at their dwelling or on impartial territory.
Frankly, I’m stunned the homeowners of a few of these harmless cats haven’t knowledgeable the authorities {that a} vicious canine harmed or killed their pet. Should you witnessed such a factor, recognizing Carl’s spouse is sadistic, it is best to have made the decision.
P.S. Why are you continue to associates with creeps like this?
DEAR ABBY: My youthful brother, “Paul,” is 40 and in a rut.
He had been associates with a good friend of mine, “Mitch,” whom I met in faculty. Paul additionally grew to become good associates with Mitch’s spouse.
After a yr of shut friendship, my brother made a cross at Mitch’s spouse throughout a BBQ. He was promptly requested to go away, they usually have ceased contact with him.
It has been a yr since Mitch spoke to Paul. Mitch has no real interest in rekindling the connection.
My brother is satisfied that Mitch’s spouse will depart her husband for him, even if there was no communication and he or she by no means expressed an curiosity.
Paul has a longtime therapist who’s conscious of the difficulty. I’m involved that my brother is losing his life pining after somebody who will not be an possibility for him.
He has by no means been married, doesn’t have kids and lives in an remoted mountain space. He’s additionally jobless and principally residing off an inheritance. I do know all of this as a result of it’s all Paul ever talks about.
Right now, I instructed him I’m carried out entertaining this delusion and received’t discuss to him till he makes some adjustments. I do know I’m venting, however I have to know if I made the suitable transfer. Did I?
— WITNESS TO A DISASTER
DEAR WITNESS: I don’t suppose it is best to utterly stop contact along with your very mixed-up brother. I do suppose that if Paul turns a dialog to the topic of Mitch’s spouse, you’d be doing him a favor to level out {that a} relationship along with her isn’t going to occur.
Then flip the dialog towards issues that may assist him, together with discovering a job that can make him much less remoted and reserving extra classes along with his therapist.
Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
