DEAR ABBY: I’ve recognized my buddy “Buddy” since junior excessive, and our wives get alongside nicely. His older daughter, “Edie,” is 11; my daughters are 10 and 13.
We stay shut to one another, and that’s nice, however its a nightmare when Edie is at our home. She’s imply, conceited, disobedient and extremely impolite.
My spouse and I like spending time with Buddy and his spouse. Their youthful daughter is 3 and lovely, although additionally very spoiled.
We don’t wish to jeopardize our friendship, however it’s beginning to put on on us to have Edie right here with out going off on them about her conduct.
How can we deliver this to their consideration with out it seeming like we’re critiquing their parenting and upsetting them?
— FED UP IN ILLINOIS
DEAR FED UP: Is Edie imply, conceited, disobedient and impolite within the presence of her dad and mom, or has she been invited to spend time together with your women individually?
If it’s the latter and also you don’t need Edie to negatively affect your women by modeling unhealthy conduct, clarify to her that you’ve got “certain rules” at your own home and what they’re. Make sure that she is aware of that if she will be able to’t comply with the principles she received’t be invited once more.
If Edie behaves this badly in her dad and mom’ presence, inform Buddy and his spouse privately that though you worth their friendship, you now not need their daughter over there since you don’t need her conduct to affect your individual children.
DEAR ABBY: I’ve been divorced for 13 years and have been relationship “Paul” for the final 5 years.
Paul is sort, helps with issues round the home and loves my family and friends. We share many frequent pursuits and revel in being collectively. We are actually contemplating transferring to the following step: marriage. We already stay collectively.
The issue is that Paul just isn’t financially accountable. He helps pay the payments, and we alternate selecting up the tab after we exit. The home and belongings are in my identify. I earn greater than he does, which isn’t any large deal, however I do not need retirement arrange or nice insurance coverage. If we had been married, it might assist my insurance coverage issues.
A part of the rationale for my divorce was my ex’s incapacity to handle cash, which acquired us right into a world of debt. I don’t wish to undergo that once more.
I’d like to marry Paul however don’t wish to tackle his monetary debt. What’s the proper resolution to make?
— STUCK ON THIS IN WISCONSIN
DEAR STUCK: The suitable factor so that you can do can be to debate this with an lawyer who will help you determine should you actually wish to be legally married to Paul.
Marrying somebody to get on his insurance coverage just isn’t the proper solution to go. Speaking with an insurance coverage agent a couple of program for which you may be eligible can be not solely enlightening, but additionally advantageous.
Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also called Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
