DEAR HARRIETTE: My 17-year-old daughter not too long ago obtained right into a automobile accident. Fortunately, she wasn’t significantly damage, however the automobile was totaled.
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After speaking to her about what occurred, it grew to become clear that the accident was because of her not paying consideration: She was distracted, and it value her.
Now that the mud has settled, she’s asking my husband and me to purchase her a brand new automobile. She appears to count on that we’ll exchange it like we’re upgrading her cellphone, and I’m battling how entitled she sounds.
I perceive that having a automobile is essential for her independence, job and social life, however I additionally really feel strongly that this is a chance to show her some real-world duty. I advised her that we’re keen to assist with the fee, however she must contribute financially as nicely, whether or not meaning saving up from her part-time job or doing further work round the home.
She, in fact, is pissed off and thinks we’re being unfair. She says she’s already realized her lesson from the crash, however I’m not so positive.
Am I being too harsh?
— Be taught the Lesson
DEAR LEARN THE LESSON: Your daughter completely ought to have repercussions because of her accident. She must step up and assist work out how she will be able to have a automobile once more.
Sure, she ought to have to assist pay for it. One method to strategy this could be to supply to match greenback for greenback no matter cash she is keen and capable of put towards the automobile.
Certain, it’s irritating, however so was the crash that totaled the automobile, raised your insurance coverage invoice and required the acquisition of a brand new automobile. She might imagine she has realized her lesson, however she has an extended method to go.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I moved in with my roommate about six months in the past, and at first, every little thing was high quality. We obtained alongside nicely, break up chores evenly and revered one another’s area. Just lately, issues have taken a critical flip for the more severe.
We obtained into an enormous argument a couple of weeks in the past. I received’t go into all the small print, but it surely obtained fairly heated and private. Ever since then, issues have been unbearably tense within the condominium. We barely communicate, and after we do, it’s chilly or passive-aggressive. I don’t really feel snug in my own residence anymore, and I discover myself avoiding being there as a lot as doable.
The issue is, we’re nonetheless in the course of our lease, and breaking it might be costly. Neither of us can afford to pay the total lease on our personal, and I don’t assume she’s thinking about shifting out both.
I really feel caught. I need to transfer out and get some peace of thoughts, however I don’t know the way to do this with out making issues worse financially or legally.
Do you have got any recommendation on tips on how to deal with this? Is there a method to get out of the lease early or discover a compromise that received’t destroy my checking account or my sanity?
— Caught
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DEAR STUCK: Begin by asking your roommate for a gathering. Deal with the elephant within the room: specifically, that ever since your argument, issues have been tense.
Ask her if she will be able to conform to a truce because you each must stay there. Agree on who does what, and advocate that you simply dial again the hostility. Apologize for something hurtful you mentioned or did, and ask for a reset.
Verify along with your landlord to see what it might value to interrupt the lease or discover a substitute tenant for you. Moreover that, if it’s a one-year lease, the excellent news is that six months will fly by.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founding father of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to assist individuals entry and activate their desires. You’ll be able to ship inquiries to [email protected] or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
