DEAR HARRIETTE: Not too long ago, I went on a primary date with a man I met by way of mutual mates, and actually, it was a catastrophe.
He confirmed up late, spent more often than not speaking about himself and made a couple of offhand feedback that rubbed me the incorrect manner. I left the date feeling dissatisfied and satisfied there was no actual connection.
Now he’s been texting me nonstop, apologizing and saying he was nervous and never performing like his true self. He retains asking for a second probability, saying he actually likes me and desires to make a greater impression.
Part of me appreciates the accountability and energy, however I additionally don’t wish to ignore the crimson flags I felt in my intestine. I’m torn between giving him the advantage of the doubt and trusting my first impression.
How do I do know if I’m being too fast to evaluate, or if I’d simply be losing extra of my time?
— Unhealthy Date
DEAR BAD DATE: Belief your instincts. You’ll be able to forgive him and never exit with him once more.
Inform him you settle for his apology, however you aren’t all for a second date. The tip.
DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I haven’t been capable of get a very good night time’s relaxation in over a yr. My 8-year-old daughter nonetheless insists on sleeping in our mattress with us virtually each night time, and I’m at a loss for what to do.
It began a couple of years in the past when she had some nightmares, and I let her sleep with us to assist her really feel protected. Now it’s change into a behavior that neither of us can appear to interrupt.
She will get upset once we attempt to get her to sleep in her personal room, and I really feel responsible pushing her away. Generally it simply feels simpler to provide in, particularly after an extended day.
I do know she must study independence and really feel assured sleeping on her personal. My husband and I additionally need our personal area again because it’s beginning to have an effect on our sleep and general stress ranges.
How can we transition her again to her personal mattress with out inflicting extra nervousness or making her really feel like we’re rejecting her?
— Unbiased Sleep
DEAR INDEPENDENT SLEEP: Based on the Little one Thoughts Institute, you need to set agency boundaries round sleep on your baby, or else chances are you’ll by no means get her to sleep in her personal room.
First, discuss to her about no matter nervousness she might have about sleeping alone. Ask her to call what’s going on. Because it has change into a sample for her to cuddle up with you and your husband, it could now be about in search of that consolation reasonably than assuaging concern.
You need to set up that she now should sleep in her personal room. You can begin by stating the rule, establishing a particular bedtime after which being within the room along with her till she falls asleep. Ideally, sit in a chair subsequent to her, not on her mattress. Think about one thing known as “fading,” the place you begin seated close to her and over time inch your method to an area outdoors the room along with your chair.
Wean her off of her reliance on you. If and when she involves your room, lead her again to her room instantly. It is going to take time, however it could work, and it’s vital.
