DEAR MISS MANNERS: A pal of mine has been maintaining in contact with me by sending textual content messages that include one sentence solely: “How are you, Jen?”
He by no means shares something about himself, nor does he present any curiosity in my life past asking that one query.
In frustration, I texted him that I’m delighted and keen to listen to from him any time he has one thing significant to share, however that going ahead, I’ll not reply to one-sentence textual content messages.
He was offended at this and I’ve not heard from him since.
What do you consider this conduct? I’m nonetheless a bit mystified by it and would really like your opinion.
GENTLE READER: In a world the place lengthy, rambling textual content messages and lack of curiosity in others prevails, it appears to Miss Manners that your pal’s texts had been each succinct and empathetic. Except you aren’t offering her with the entire state of affairs.
When you inform him how you might be and ask him how he’s, does he then go silent? If it truly is simply the one sentence after which crickets, Miss Manners will justify — and share — your mystification.
Nevertheless it nonetheless doesn’t warrant the tirade you unleashed upon him.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: A pal, who professes to like me, behaved irrationally on a two-day go to to my home.
He says he’s all the time in plenty of ache as a consequence of fibromyalgia, neuropathy and a tendon lacking in his shoulder.
I’ve two disintegrating discs urgent on nerves in my decrease again, which could be very painful.
Throughout his go to, I waited on him hand and foot whereas he lollygagged on a settee.
He went to take a bathe in my visitor bathtub, and apparently the bathe didn’t work effectively. He screamed and yelled on the high of his lungs, slammed the lavatory door after which slammed the door to the visitor bed room. He didn’t come out until the subsequent morning, when he instructed me the bathroom within the visitor bathtub was plugged up and ordered me to care for it.
I used to be furious and instructed him to care for it himself. I felt utterly disrespected and felt he handled my dwelling like a lodge.
He may have used the bathe in my lavatory, however didn’t hassle asking. He additionally complained as a result of there have been no tissues within the bathtub, however I’ve additional containers and will have fetched one.
I’d be enthusiastic about your ideas.
GENTLE READER: It is a very risky relationship.
If it survives this go to and you might be keen to attempt once more, Miss Manners suggests you sit your pal down and clarify that when you know he’s in ache, his conduct at your home was unacceptable.
If he desires to stick with you, you’d be blissful to present him a tour of the place every part is and the way it works, however that you’ll not tolerate screaming and slamming if issues go awry.
Miss Manners additional advises that this dialog will go higher when you resist the urge to compete over your respective ache and accidents.
