Expensive Abby: She hides me from her ex. Ought to I be fearful?

DEAR ABBY: My spouse died 5 years in the past. I waited for 4 years earlier than getting again within the relationship scene.

My girlfriend was divorced six years in the past. Her ex-husband lives in a special state. She refuses to inform him about our relationship as a result of she says she doesn’t need to harm his emotions.

Her ex calls and texts her on a regular basis. I like her so much, and our relationship has been nice in each approach. I simply can’t recover from her not telling him.

I’ve talked to her about this, however she refuses to inform him. Ought to I be fearful about this?

— EX ISSUE IN MICHIGAN

DEAR EX ISSUE: I believe so. This lady could also be legally divorced from her husband however will not be emotionally, which can be why she’s reluctant to inform him. She may additionally be much less invested in your relationship than you might be.

Ask her whether or not she would need to know if her ex met somebody and began a relationship. Then ask the reverse query as a result of, in case you are critical about her, the present state of affairs is unfair to you.

DEAR ABBY: I’m involved about my daughter.

She’s in a pleasant relationship, which appears good. They’ve two lovely sons, ages 4 and a couple of, good jobs, a pleasant residence and good households who present lots of assist. We’re all the time there for each other.

My concern is that my daughter’s companion is not going to transfer ahead with an engagement and proposal of marriage. Just a few years in the past, I discussed marriage to him, and he answered, “Soon.” His mother and father additionally stated the time can be coming quickly.

I heard from somebody that he stated there was lots of divorce in his household, and that’s what’s holding him again.

I really feel for my daughter. Whereas her sister and cousins are getting married, she is sitting idle. I don’t actually understand how she is feeling as a result of I attempt to not butt in, however that is hurting my spouse and me, and presumably her.

Ought to I say one thing once more or keep out of it? She could be a wonderful and completely satisfied bride.

— EMPATHETIC DAD IN ILLINOIS

DEAR DAD: Sorry to be a grump, nevertheless it’s time to suppose realistically. There’s much more to this than what a wonderful and completely satisfied bride your daughter would make.

Has she thought of what would occur to her and the youngsters if one thing unexpected occurred to her companion? Who could be legally empowered to make medical and monetary choices for him? Her? His mother and father? Has he thought of what the result of his stalling could possibly be, two youngsters later?

Speak along with your daughter and ensure she understands the implications of what’s happening. Sure, she and her companion are completely satisfied. Bless them for that. However it’s potential neither of them is considering pragmatically and, for the sake of her and the youngsters, that ought to change.

Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.