DEAR ABBY: We misplaced our 16-year-old daughter two years in the past to leukemia. It’s been a troublesome two years.
I’m writing to ask if there are guidelines of etiquette for visiting a beloved one on the cemetery?
We go often. I enhance the realm in entrance of her stone with vacation or seasonally applicable decorations. Different relations and associates go to as nicely, and most depart little trinkets or contemporary flowers that I decide up and throw away after they wither, or deliver house and put in our daughter’s room.
My downside is, one member of the family opens playing cards which have been left there for my daughter, and places all kinds of low cost decorations round her grave. Just lately, they put decorations instantly on her headstone which left giant stains. We are actually left looking for an expert to take away the harm, or her stone will must be changed.
I’m beside myself. That is the place I am going to speak to my daughter to really feel nearer to her. It took a 12 months for her stone to be set. I took my time selecting simply the precise etchings and film, and it’s a stone befitting our stunning angel.
Would it not be fallacious to set guidelines as to what folks can and may’t depart when visiting my daughter’s ultimate resting place? Can I inform somebody they’re now not welcome to go to?
— PROTECTIVE IN PENNSYLVANIA
DEAR PROTECTIVE: Please settle for my deepest sympathy for the lack of your daughter.
I hope the relative who broken her gravestone apologized for it and volunteered to pay for the companies of the skilled cleaner. If not, you must recommend it. And when you are at it, you can even clarify what sort of mementos you’re feeling are applicable on the gravesite.
Perceive, nonetheless, that when you have the precise to state your preferences, until there’s a guard watching your daughter’s ultimate resting place, there’s no assure they are going to be revered.
DEAR ABBY: All of us meet acquaintances and say, “Let’s grab dinner.” We intend to observe by way of however overlook.
Some time again, my spouse and I made an inventory of 10 different {couples} we needed to know higher, and we organized a gaggle dinner. All of us selected a rotation: On the third Saturday of every month, a pair would host the group at a restaurant.
We don’t meet in December, and, sure, typically solely six {couples} attend, but it surely’s typically all of us. Throughout COVID we gathered by Zoom. That is our twenty fifth 12 months, and we’ve got not missed a month.
It’s not in regards to the meals — it’s a couple of caring group of associates sharing with one another. Abby, I assumed you may need to print this to encourage others.
— ONE HOST IN INDIANA
DEAR HOST: I feel the lesson right here is that somebody must be proactive and truly make plans fairly than accept good intentions.
You probably did everybody, together with your self, an amazing favor. Loneliness and isolation are severe issues for a lot of.
Pricey Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Pricey Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
