DEAR HARRIETTE: I’ve a roommate who’s extremely nosy, and it’s driving me loopy.
He’s at all times asking questions which might be means too private, and it’s beginning to make me uncomfortable in my own residence.
I attempt to be well mannered and pleasant, however he doesn’t appear to select up on the truth that some issues are simply none of his enterprise. For instance, the opposite day he seen some medicine that I had left on the counter and requested me what it was for. I used to be caught off guard as a result of I didn’t assume I ought to have to elucidate my non-public medical points to anybody, not to mention my roommate.
I attempted to dodge the query, however he saved urgent, and I ultimately modified the topic simply to get him to cease.
This isn’t the primary time one thing like this has occurred. He’s requested about my funds, my relationships and even my household, usually in a means that feels extra like prying than real curiosity.
I’m all for having a pleasant relationship with a roommate, however I really feel like there ought to be boundaries, and he’s persistently crossing them. How do I set boundaries with somebody like this with out turning it into an even bigger situation than it must be?
— Crossing the Line
DEAR CROSSING THE LINE: As quickly as you possibly can transfer out, do. You shouldn’t must dwell with somebody who doesn’t respect your privateness.
That stated, you reside with him now. Put money into a lockbox the place you possibly can put all your necessary papers, medicines and different private objects in order that he can not attain them below any circumstances. Put a lock in your bed room door should you can.
Speak to him instantly, and inform him it’s worthwhile to set clear home guidelines. These embody every little thing from family chores to non-public enterprise.
Let him know that your private life is off limits. Ask him to cease the inquisition as a result of you’ll now not entertain the dialogue. Then, merely don’t reply when he goes into unwelcome territory.
For those who don’t interact, he’ll cease speaking to you … ultimately.
DEAR HARRIETTE: My spouse and I are gearing up for retirement. We’re very excited.
We got here to the USA 45 years in the past and have been working tirelessly ever since. Retirement will really feel totally different for us.
I’m excited, after all, however nonetheless a bit nervous. We don’t have any grandchildren but, so we’ll must fill our time with hobbies.
Do you might have any suggestions for our new chapter?
— Anticipating Retirement
DEAR ANTICIPATING RETIREMENT: Earlier than you retire, make a plan. What do you take pleasure in doing, individually and as a pair? What have you ever dreamed of doing however had no time to discover? Put this stuff on a bucket record.
Do you wish to keep residing the place you are actually? Many retirees downsize and transfer to extra temperate climates. Assume via your choices primarily based in your funds, and make this subsequent chapter a time of exploration collectively.
It may be a number of enjoyable should you set that intention.
