NEARLY 40 AND SINGLE, Tracy Morris had been online dating for a while, but she wasn’t about to settle. Not for the man who turned out to have a whiny, mewling voice; its weak quality made her feel unsafe. Nor for the one who spoke in short, chopped, angry sentences. “Voice is a pheromone to me,” said Ms. Morris, a McLean, Virginia-based interior designer. “I think it’s one of the senses.”
The tone and timbre of a potential love interest’s chatter can play such a key role in winnowing the dating pool that last October, dating app Hinge added Voice Prompts to its user profiles. “Around 65% of our users were saying getting to hear someone’s voice earlier on in the dating journey, before I’m out on a date with them and investing time, would be really valuable,” said Michelle Parsons, chief product officer at Hinge. “What’s their humor like, how do they speak?”
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Within the Hinge app, users can make a 30-second voice recording in response to any of dozens of prompts. The three most popular? “A life goal of mine,” “All I ask is that you” and “How to pronounce my name.” Go to settings, hit “edit profile,” then after selecting “voice prompt,” tap the microphone icon and speak into the phone, just as you would on a normal phone call. Sound more like Fran Drescher than you’d prefer? You can delete and redo your recording before clicking “done,” which will add the soundburst to your profile.
SPEAK EASY Though you might feel self-conscious about the pitch of your voice, experts say that your natural intonations and the rhythms of your speech might play a bigger role in attracting a mate.
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In June 2021, Tinder gave users the ability to add video recordings—including voice—to their profiles. The League dating app did the same back in December 2019. A quarter of League users are taking advantage of the technology—and those that do get more likes and have a 3% higher match rate, according to the app. Hinge reports that its users are 1.4 times more likely to go on an actual date with someone with whom they’ve matched over a Voice Prompt.
“Voice is something that can really help make everything just feel more human,” Ms. Parsons said. “‘I’m not just photos and text on a screen.’” Even if you’re self-conscious about your voice or have been teased about it, you should know that vocal qualities that turn off some might be downright magnetic to others. “While somebody that I may have talked to on the phone had a laugh that I just couldn’t handle, it could have been so endearing to somebody else,” Ms. Morris said. “Every pot has a lid.” How you say what you say—your inflections, the rhythm and cadence—matters more than your actual vocal quality, high or low, said Dr. Helen Fisher, senior research fellow for the Kinsey Institute.
“For millions of years, people listened,” Ms. Fisher said. “They did not read who you were. They looked at you, and they listened.” Your pattern of intonations can convey your education level, age, background and intentions, Ms. Fisher said—including your neediness.
As for Ms. Morris, she ended up marrying a man she met on Hinge before the advent of Voice Prompts. Her bridegroom’s voice? Melodic and even-tempered. “He sounded like somebody that would be a very calming, happy presence in my life,” she said. “And that’s exactly what he’s been.”
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