DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’m blind and have been since start. Not like some folks I do know, I don’t get offended if folks ask me questions or say one thing about it. I’m comfy with the best way I’m, and even make jokes about it myself typically.
However typically, when folks I don’t know properly say one thing like “Good to see you,” the dialog turns into awkward as a result of they assume I should be offended by that.
For one factor, it’s only a determine of speech, and for one more, I say that to folks jokingly on a regular basis.
What do I say to folks in these awkward moments once they begin apologizing, although I don’t really feel that it’s essential?
GENTLE READER: “I see what you’re getting at. But I don’t really see it as being offensive.”
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I get pleasure from socializing with a gaggle of girls in my group. There’s a group textual content for 14 of us who typically get collectively for social occasions.
Just lately, a number of of the women mentioned how a lot enjoyable that they had had boating, and it was apparent half the group hadn’t been invited. This isn’t the primary time this has occurred.
I believe they need to maintain such texts non-public. It’s their alternative to not embody me, however I imagine it’s impolite to brag.
GENTLE READER: Impolite to brag? Isn’t it the nationwide sport?
Social media has sabotaged the tactful rule towards mentioning social occasions to individuals who weren’t invited.
Miss Manners would warning towards posting about events on-line, until to a gaggle restricted to the visitors, if she thought she had even the least probability of success. However she is aware of that individuals are not listening. They’ll’t wait to indicate off to the world what a superb occasion they hosted (or attended).
So allow us to work on it from the opposite finish, beginning with the acknowledgment that everybody can’t be invited to every part. There are solely so many individuals you will get onto a ship.
To be offended, you actually ought to have been systemically excluded on events the place everybody else in your circle had been invited.
Even then, chances are you’ll lower ties with these pals, or chances are you’ll probe to see when you have in some way precipitated offense. However you shouldn’t problem the hosts’ prerogative of selecting their visitors.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband just lately handed, and I despatched thank-you notes to everybody who gave a financial reward or despatched flowers.
Are thank-you notes required to those that attended the wake companies? I heard {that a} good friend of a good friend was offended at not receiving a thank-you.
GENTLE READER: Actually? Somebody thought that attending your husband’s wake was a favor to you?
Miss Manners doesn’t wish to discourage letters of thanks, that are in brief provide. If hosts wish to write to thank their visitors, she is just not going to discourage them. However in contrast to the peculiar obligation of visitors to thank their hosts, it isn’t essential.
Any such expectation is especially ugly in reference to funerary companies, the place the aim is to indicate respect for the deceased and provide consolation to the bereaved.
