DEAR MISS MANNERS: A pal whom I very a lot treasured has ceased to be my pal.
After 12 years of journey adventures, Saturday afternoons at markets, deep conversations over espresso, visiting one another a number of instances a 12 months (after she moved 1,000 miles away) and serving to one another with tasks, she began distancing herself from me.
I requested her what was occurring, and he or she would solely say there was nothing fallacious and that nothing had modified. She acted like I used to be imagining issues.
I obtained a card within the mail from her a couple of months in the past the place she talked about, virtually as an apart, that she had moved again right here. I known as her instantly and requested how I may have missed that she was shifting again. She laughed and stated she’d been right here for six weeks already.
I felt crushed, although I didn’t specific that. The pal I had recognized would have known as me the day the choice was made. Truly, she would have known as me earlier than that, to speak over the professionals and cons. We might have seen one another not less than a dozen instances in these six weeks.
As a substitute, we’ve got solely seen one another as soon as within the 4 months she’s been again — for half-hour, to observe a parade. I’ve reached out since then to ask her to espresso or lunch, and people messages have been returned with silence.
I truthfully don’t know what occurred. Ought to I merely acquiesce to this radio silence?
GENTLE READER: Sure, until you wish to have another go at going through the issue straight: “Clearly we have grown distant, and I am at a loss as to why. You say that nothing is wrong, but you cannot deny that our friendship is not what it was. If I have done something wrong, please let me know so that I have a chance to correct it and make amends.”
In case your erstwhile pal continues to demur, Miss Manners is afraid that you’ll have to settle for the loss and transfer on. After which determine whether or not or not you wish to keep away from her on the grocery retailer.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: Years in the past, my father-in-law gave me a necklace, completely unexpectedly.
It was certainly one of many items of jewellery he had given to his spouse, who had died years prior. He additionally gave some items to different family members.
The necklace is just not one thing I get pleasure from sporting; it will get all snarled and I’ve to get it mounted every time I put on it. In the meantime, my sister-in-law is just not pleased with the diamond earrings she obtained, which she mentions sometimes.
Ought to I simply give the necklace to her? The final time I had it assessed, they stated it was value about 39,000.
GENTLE READER: About 39,000 what?! Miss Manners hopes you imply rupees or pesos, or that you simply added too many zeros.
If the financial worth is really inconsequential to you, by all means, give it to your sister-in-law. She can be without end in your debt.
